Actuality jokes

Why do orphans want a sugar daddy?

They actually can call someone "daddy!"

Why do you play Call of Duty?

I actually don't know.

The kid was a bit sad, so he was blue.

Teacher asked him, "Why are you so blue?"

The kid replied, "I'm not sad."

Teacher said, "No, your face actually blue."

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

The apple actually gets picked.

What’s the difference in an apple and an orphan?

One actually gets picked.

Me: Am actually happy right now.

Life: Lol one sec.

What are you doing, son? It has been an hour, and you are still in front of the mirror closing your eyes.

Mum, actually I want to see how I look while sleeping...

Suzy: How did Jonah fit in the whale?

Teacher: Whales are very big but have small mouths, so Jonah did not actually fit in the whale.

Suzy: Well, the Bible says he did.

Teacher: He did not.

Suzy: When I get to heaven I will ask him how he fit in.

Teacher: How do you know he went to heaven? Maybe he went to hell.

Suzy: Then you can ask him.

Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? Idaho, Alaska?

What it actually means: Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? I don’t know. I’ll ask her.

P.S. My dad is a history teacher and he told me to put this in here.

The Eagles when they actually thought they were gonna win the Super Bowl. 😹

Orphans actually have an advantage. Nobody can call them motherless or test-tube babies in an argument.

5 Cobra Kai Facts:

1: Johnny = Daniel

2: Miguel > Robby

3: Miyagi Do = Eagle Fang

4: Chozen and Daniel > Kreese and Silver

5: Tory is actually a good person.

Your mother is so fat, she actually went on a diet and started exercising, and I hear she's doing quite well now.

Have you seen the Justin meme?

Yeah, the ones that cracked at Fortnite?

Just-in time for deez nuts.

Bruh.

But actually, it's a parody.

Wait, actually?

Parodiesnuts (pair of deez nuts).

What's the difference between me and an orphan's parents?

I actually come back with the milk.

What do you call an orphan who likes football?

Because someone will actually give him something.

"Do you have a noose?"

"Nose?"

"Yeah, noose- nose... I heard yours was stuffed lately--haha."

"I actually smell something--like a corpse. Is it you?"

"No."

*Dying on the inside has never been so detectable.*

Why do orphans like boomerangs? Because they actually came back...

Why don't churches have Wi-Fi? Because they can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.

Why does Ama like boomerangs? Because they actually come back!