Actuality jokes
You know that the F in orphan may stand for family, but it actually stands for "fuck family."
Why are the Twin Towers actually twins?
Their birth and death date are the same.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple actually gets picked.
What’s the difference in an apple and an orphan?
One actually gets picked.
Me: Am actually happy right now.
Life: Lol one sec.
Memes
What are you doing, son? It has been an hour, and you are still in front of the mirror closing your eyes.
Mum, actually I want to see how I look while sleeping...
What is an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang because it actually comes back.
Why do orphans want a sugar daddy?
They actually can call someone "daddy!"
Suzy: How did Jonah fit in the whale?
Teacher: Whales are very big but have small mouths, so Jonah did not actually fit in the whale.
Suzy: Well, the Bible says he did.
Teacher: He did not.
Suzy: When I get to heaven I will ask him how he fit in.
Teacher: How do you know he went to heaven? Maybe he went to hell.
Suzy: Then you can ask him.
I have returned. Anyways, what do you call it when you're actually in Panera Bread, being in Panera Bread?
What do you call an orphan who likes football?
Because someone will actually give him something.
Have you seen the Justin meme?
Yeah, the ones that cracked at Fortnite?
Just-in time for deez nuts.
Bruh.
But actually, it's a parody.
Wait, actually?
Parodiesnuts (pair of deez nuts).
5 Cobra Kai Facts:
1: Johnny = Daniel
2: Miguel > Robby
3: Miyagi Do = Eagle Fang
4: Chozen and Daniel > Kreese and Silver
5: Tory is actually a good person.
Your mother is so fat, she actually went on a diet and started exercising, and I hear she's doing quite well now.
The Eagles when they actually thought they were gonna win the Super Bowl. 😹
"Do you have a noose?"
"Nose?"
"Yeah, noose- nose... I heard yours was stuffed lately--haha."
"I actually smell something--like a corpse. Is it you?"
"No."
*Dying on the inside has never been so detectable.*
Orphans actually have an advantage. Nobody can call them motherless or test-tube babies in an argument.
Why do orphans like boomerangs? Because they actually came back...
What's the difference between me and an orphan's parents?
I actually come back with the milk.
Why don't churches have Wi-Fi? Because they can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.