Action jokes

My depressed friend said he wanted to jump off of a bridge but he didn’t wanna commit suicide. I told him if you jump and yell "parkour," it’ll just be a failed stunt.

So if you say a bear shoots children, and Leah likes Mason Boswells, and I go to Benjamin Adlard year 6.

People ask me if my friend jumps off a bridge, will I go as well? Of course not. I am a leader; I will go first, my friend will jump after me!

They say they'll stay, but I left first.

I was at the bank yesterday.

A lady asked to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

Why is Kanye West's haircut actually years of work by many doctors to piece together skull fragments like a jigsaw puzzle?

Because Kanye once interrupted Chuck Norris on the set of "Walker Texas Ranger."

Why couldn’t people use the George Floyd action figure? Because it was vacuum sealed.

Gas, gas, gas, I'm gonna step on your ass!

TONIGHT

FOR FUN

YEAH YEAH YEAH

I threw a lamp at the depressed kid. I was just trying to brighten up his day.

"Fuck you, do something about it!"

I saw a kid in a wheelchair and I screamed, "EXTREME PARKOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Imagine if the kid in a wheelchair was in Fast and Furious. His wheelchair is the only one that keeps him going.

What's an orphan's favorite movie? Spiderman: No Way Home.

Mom told me to get more in touch with my feminine side. So, I crashed the car.

Imagine orphans watching Spiderman: No Way Home.

I stood on the edge of a building and someone yelled, "Do a flip!"..... and I did.

I got in trouble today because I threw a lamp at the emo kid and said, "Lighten up!"

"{[(Log date) 11 22 3] The Beginning} "This marks the first ever log of the Underground Fruit Association of n&c (ugfa). N, being code name for Nathaniel, and C, being code name for Connor. Our plan is to collect as many fruit cups as possible by the end of the year. This site will be a communication hub only and used for nothing else. We will plan and discuss courses of action, and collection." End of log"

This one kid never stands up for the pledge of allegiance, and I'm tired of it.

Today, I push him out of his wheelchair.

Jimmy watched in horror as Alex told the suicidal man to do a flip.

How do you make an emo mad at you?

Cut the rope.