Run, bestie, run!
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite line in Rambo?
"Don't push me."
My mom asked me if I was okay, so I replied, "I will be," and jumped out the window!
Do you know what you first feel when you shoot someone?
The recoil.
If you jump off a bridge while crying, it's suicide, but if you jump off a bridge while screaming "parkour," it's a failed stunt.
Good news! There's a new program to help autistic people. It's called Action T-4.
Yo mama so far, she makes the Statue of Freedom look like a 6-inch action figure.
How do you make a body disappear?
You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!
P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.
How do you get 4 gay guys on a bar stool? You turn it upside down.
How do you get them back off again? You jerk them off.
Q. why do orphans hate fast and furious movies A. cuz they say family to often
Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson has made a laudable, command decision to omit real firearms from his movie sets.
This being the case, he ought to produce, direct, and star in his next movie titled: “The Rubber Gun Squad!” 👌 😉
I was excited to watch Fast and Furious because of Dom Toretto, then I realized family is nothing to me 'cause I'm an orphan.
What actor does an orphan hate?
Vin Diesel.
She blew on it, and it went hard.
Why do orphans hate Dom Toretto?
Because they hate how he cares about family.
The boy was clapping, then he became clapped.
Mom: Are you seriously gonna die?
Me: No. Don't worry. Suicide is the last thing I'll do.
What's a whale's favorite James Bond movie? "License to Krill."
When you commit suicide in your house, that's suicide, but when you commit suicide outside, you failed your parkour.
What Spider-Man movie does an orphan like? Homecoming.
