Action jokes
How do you make a body disappear?
You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!
P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.
How do you get 4 gay guys on a bar stool? You turn it upside down.
How do you get them back off again? You jerk them off.
Q: Why do orphans hate Fast and Furious movies?
A: Because they say "family" too often.
Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson has made a laudable, command decision to omit real firearms from his movie sets.
This being the case, he ought to produce, direct, and star in his next movie titled: “The Rubber Gun Squad!” 👌 😉
I was excited to watch Fast and Furious because of Dom Toretto, then I realized family is nothing to me 'cause I'm an orphan.
What actor does an orphan hate?
Vin Diesel.
She blew on it, and it went hard.
Why do orphans hate Dom Toretto?
Because they hate how he cares about family.
The boy was clapping, then he became clapped.
Mom: Are you seriously gonna die?
Me: No. Don't worry. Suicide is the last thing I'll do.
What's a whale's favorite James Bond movie? "License to Krill."
When you commit suicide in your house, that's suicide, but when you commit suicide outside, you failed your parkour.
What Spider-Man movie does an orphan like? Homecoming.
After work, I volunteer to help blind children. Verb, not adjective.
Two men walk into a bar, the third one ducks.
Q. What does a Russian girl do when she gets unexpectedly pregnant?
A. Has an abortion.
Thanks to an unfortunate typo, it's the most one-sided action movie ever.
Alen vs. Predator.
Tongue Trick Sex: The Movie.
Not coming soon!
America has white people that are terrorists and racists. They love to blame people from different countries for what they have done.
White person: "We are not terrorists. Why would [we] ever do that in our history?"
The rest of the people: *looks at them stupid* "Y'all were the first motherfuckers to be a terrorist first and then wanting to blame others for your action."
1 person: "You still carrying that confederate flag. It means hatred and [you're] still trying to fight to bring back slaves again. Y'all say it's heritage and not hate, but [you're] clearly still a fucking loser, and your flag has an X [on it, which] means wrong. So... Still a loser. People can't be racist to a racist. It just doesn't make sense. I'm not saying all white people are racist, but I am talking about the ones who voted for Trump and be blind as hell. FUCK DONALD TRUMP AND THE RACIST PEOPLE!"
Atoms never touch, so it means, we haven't touched each other or anything. So, sir, I did not drop-kick that child.