I hit myself on a window yesterday. I really felt the pane.
My friend said onions only cry so that’s why I threw a coconut at him
I accidentally bumped into a midget yesterday. Me; "Are you ok sir?" Midget; "Well, I'm not happy." Me; Well, which one are ya?
i love how all these jokes about different accidents have happened but why isn't anyone writing about how much of an accident we all were! :)
When your uncle drops a nickel but the only thing he really drops is his pants
It said to submit a joke and thats what my mom did when i was born
The reason he died is that they accidentally flipped the wrong light switch.
louie being born
Someone butt dialed me again yesterday. It seems that only assholes want to talk to me.
I was walking down the street saw a kid slip on a plum. I look to my right and died of lafter because I did the same
I accidentally drank a little food coloring last night. I ended up dying inside.
why did sally drop her ice cream come? because she got hit bye a bus. subscribe to my youtube channel to find more jokes like this one.search Irs Calvin and the pic of the kid ,,,thats me
why were you born? because I asked out your mom on accident
tyler m is not to be sitting in the chair he is right now
Your mum gay lol
Stephen Hawking’s death was purely accidental. He clicked “shut-down” instead of “sleep”.
Where you born on the side of the highway because that’s where all mistakes happen
I accidentally walked on the lego batman mask.
I want my fucking feet back.
Jack and Molly are sitting in school one day. Molly is asleep when the teacher asks her a question, "Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?"
Jack sees Molly is sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.
"Jesus Christ almighty!" shouts Molly.
"Correct," says the teacher.
The next day the teacher asks, "Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?"
Molly is again asleep and is poked by Jack's pencil.
"Jesus Christ almighty!" she shouts.
"Correct again," says the teacher.
The next day, for a 3rd time, Molly is asleep.
This time the teacher asks her, "What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?"
Jack pokes Molly with the pencil again, and this time Molly screams "If you stick that thing in me one more time I'm going to crack it in half!"
So there was school shooting in Florida why didn't the shooter just go to Disney.......sorry i just work there and I'm trying to get people to come on down.
