I accidentally hit an orphan with my car but I was not worried because he couldn’t tell his parents
I was at my drumming lesson and I accidentally dropped my drum stick when my sister made a terrible joke. KA-DOOM-CHA
my brother and i were roughhousing and accidentally knocked over our bookshelf, my mom cam in and started asking who knocked it over, to which i replied that i only had my shelf to blame.
heya can i axe you a question?
my brother like to build "traps" to capture our cat so he can pet it. i said it wasn't gonna catch anyone, he replied with not going to stop who? i told him not to worry that it could capture any two.
When u go to ur girlfriends house but accidentally go into her dads room and fuck him anyway
i hate it when i accidentally eat out my dog lol
Sixty years ago Stephen Hawkings teacher got fired for accidentally making an offensive joke. What was it? Go for your dreams kids reach for the stars.
One day a father and a daughter were at a park. The daughter accidentally kills a butterfly. The father says, "Just because you killed the butterfly, you don't get butter for a week."
They were there the next day, and the daughter kills a cockroach. The father laughs and says, "Nice try."
what happens when you accidentally taught your child to call every man daddy?
you find the real one.
The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.
I hit myself on a window yesterday. I really felt the pane.
My friend said onions only cry so that’s why I threw a coconut at him
I accidentally bumped into a midget yesterday. Me; "Are you ok sir?" Midget; "Well, I'm not happy." Me; Well, which one are ya?
i love how all these jokes about different accidents have happened but why isn't anyone writing about how much of an accident we all were! :)
When your uncle drops a nickel but the only thing he really drops is his pants
Stephen Hawking died because he accidentally lost his bluetooth connection.
It said to submit a joke and thats what my mom did when i was born
The reason he died is that they accidentally flipped the wrong light switch.
louie being born
Someone butt-dialed me again yesterday. It seems that only assholes want to talk to me.
I was walking down the street saw a kid slip on a plum. I look to my right and died of lafter because I did the same
