Accidental jokes

One day a man was fixing a car, and he accidentally got brake oil in his mouth. He was about to spit it out, but then he thought, "Hmm, this tastes pretty good!" So he would keep drinking brake oil. But his friends were getting worried about him, and they were like, "Dude, this can't be healthy." But he said, "Don't worry. I can STOP anytime."

What do you call a private nun?

Nun-o-yo-business.

How do you kill a Catholic?

Crucify them...

U were accidental.

I'm Gay.

My life.

Did you hear about the man who was accidentally buried alive? -- It was a grave mistake.

I tried to explain to my 4 year old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants. But he's still making fun of me.