Accident jokes
Mom told me to get more in touch with my feminine side. So, I crashed the car.
Why did Princess Di cross the road?
Momentum.
I will always remember my baby sister's last words: "What is the fire for?"
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because someone booted her in the face. 🤣🤣
How did we know Princess Diana had dandruff?
'Cause the police found her Head and Shoulders on the dash.
"Roses are red. Violets are red. My parents' bed is red. Oh shit, I set the house on fire!"
Why did Sally fall dead?
Because she was on top of a tower and fell because she had no arms. Hahahahaha!
What did the helicopter say to the mountain?
Kobe.
A blind kid accidentally touches the emo kid's wrist and says, "I'm not reading all of that!"
Molly Burke and her mom were on a walk. Molly walked into a bar; her mom laughed and walked under it.
How did Billy find out he was in a minefield?
He saw his dad's corpse holding a jug of milk.
"Learn to fly a plane," they said. "It'll be fun," they said...
My great grandfather died in 9/11.
He was such a good pilot.
What's similar between a 14 year old pregnant girl and the fetus inside of her?
They're both thinking, "Oh shit, my mom's going to kill me!"
I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”
I was riding my bike down the road!
When a car started coming, I started running.
It put me in a crash with my elbow through my ass! ;)
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the kings horses and all the kings men, said "Fuck him, he's only an egg."
I fell down yesterday.
Why did Paul Walker cross the road?
Because he wasn’t wearing his seat belt.
Why did the cat cross the road?
To make a catastrophy on the road.