A 10 year old girl meets with her doctor. The doctor tells her “Katie, I’m sorry to have to tell you that your parents didn’t survive the accident. Sadly, our tests also show that you have early onset Alzheimer’s disease.” Katie replies “well at least my parents will look after me”
There was a person inside, who needed help from the police, but the police changed their number, so he ordered a party with pizzas from 2 airplanes, but the pilots were stupid so they put in people instead of pizzas, and one landed on the 93rd floor, and the 94th floor, literally.
why'd sally drop her ice cream she was hit by a bus
How do you get chewing gum out of a child's hair? Cancer.
Fletcher is not a lesbian. He is also not an Asian. He is also definately not an accident.
Man says "im flying" realizes he was pushed out of a plane.
Why did the plane crash? Because it was being flown by a loaf of bread.
A man in a wheelchair and his friend were walking down the street Man in Wheelchair: * falls out of wheelchair* Friend: Are you okay? Man in Wheelchair: I can't feel my legs
Little Johnny walks in on his mom taking a shower and slips and falls under her and he says what’s that mama she says that’s just and old bear he says he’s a mean bear she says why’s that he says he’s got blood in on eye and shit in the other
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
When a woman decides to abort it is called a decision but when I run my truck into a playground of kids it is called murder
Once upon a time... Chuck Norris steped on a Lego. R.I.P the Lego piece.
Two kids walked into a bar, they were covered with blood. the bartender asked what happened. The youngest said "Well, we we're trying to paint our basement but we threw the babies too hard".
So I left my mom with my baby and I was terrified when I came back in the wheelchair was in the water
i didnt mean to call a afghanistan Hotline, i told them i was Depressed then they asked if i know how to drive a truck idk how that has anything to do with it
I took my son to a drivers school and am surprised because he got his license but soon lost the privilege to drive a car because he ran over my ex on "accident" (I gotta go pay him out of jail)
A blonde accidentally kills a cop and calls the police. She exclaims, “Hello, is this 911?” The other person, “Yes, what is your emergency?” The blonde answered, “I called to inform you that you’re 910 now.”
When i was going downstairs Sum Ting Wong fell and doctors say Sum Ting Wong happened
Tony's wife had a divorce with Tony, she says she wants to be an independent woman
Day's later Tony's wife had an accident, guess who's crawling back for help 💀
Did you hear the news? Michael jackson died, because he choked on 7 year old nuts and balls
