Accident Jokes

I got suspended at school today, I lit a kids wheelchair on fire and called him hot wheels

what do Bob Ross's painting and the orphanage have in common. They're both filled with happy little accidents............

Rose are red. Violet's are red. My parents bed is red. Oh shit, I set the house on fire

What happens when a strawberry gets run over crossing the street? Traffic jam.

Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road. I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”

I saw a bicycler flip over a gutter it was pretty grate.

A man is watching TV and his wife comes down and says"I just fell down the stairs, did you not hear me?" Man,"Sorry i thought it was the start of Eastenders"

When I finished high school, I wanted to take my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle, but my mom said no. See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was eighteen. And I could just have his motorcycle.

I told my friend to fly a plane,

But he threw a ramp of a roof

A man walking on his roof, carrying an axe. He drops it on someone below him and says "Sorry, It was an axe-cident!"

This 15 year old girl wanted a cross on her room with a long nail on the end over her bed unfortunately it killed her dad because it fell off the wall

(Do you get the joke)

(Her dad was on her and it fell and killed him)

A man ate a glue stick. It tasted bad. He died.hahahahah

I had a friend who got shot in the head.

Guess you could say he was...

Blown Away!

Why did the chicken cro-

UM ACTUALLY THE CHICKEN CANT CROSS THE ROAD UNLESS ITS UNER SOME ROOSTER IR HEN SUPERVISION OR ELSE THE CAR WILL CRASH THE CHICKEN AND THEY WILL DIE.🤓

Stephen only died because his wife tripped over the power cord

I was shocked when I found out my toaster was not waterproof.

Why did the man with no arms fall off his bike? Someone threw a washing machine at him.

A woman prayed to be a mother everyday for many years until she crossed a road without looking and got hit by a woman driver and died. When she met God she asked Him how come you didnt answer my prayers? God replied 'i did, i kept sending men to rape you but you kept on choosing to destroy my creations by having an abortion'

My nan broke her toe by a brick today, last time she broke her toe because she kicked her car tire . Does that now mean I have to toe her back to the doctors.