Accident jokes
Don't you find it ironic that Kobe Bryant bounced his helicopter off the ground like a basketball?
I saw a yellow bus and I knew that some-ting was wrong.
The bus was white.
Why did little Susie fall off the swing?
Because she has no arms or legs.
Knock knock.
"Who's there?"
Not Susie.
I was arrested for eating too much crack on accident. How?
My sister came into my room shoving her ass in my face.
When you go to a baseball game and they say, "Heads up!" and you put your head up, and the ball hits you in the head.
Two men ran into a bar. You would have thought after the first one hit it, the second one would have seen it.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of kids drowning.
Q: What's yellow and floats?
A: A bus full of children.
The first child, Daisy, asks her mother why she is named Daisy. The mother said, "That's because a daisy fell on your head when you were born."
The second child, Raindrop, asked why he is named Raindrop, and the mother said, "That's because a drop of rain fell on your head when you were born."
Then the third child, Cinderblock, said, "fxg,kxf dsdsvtg,hjer,btjh,rbtsvikvsdtxde43f."
I wish that people would stop mailing jokes about Kobe Bryant. Guys, all they do is crash and burn!
Plane crash in China... pilots names released in the incident are as follows:
Sum Ting Wong.
Wei Toh Low.
Ho Lee Fuk.
Ban Din Ouch.
Three blondes were walking on a path. The first blonde said, “Hey, look, there are deer tracks!” The second blonde said, “No way, those are totally duck tracks.” The third blonde said, “Nuh uh, those are...” Then they got hit by a train.
What's the difference between a speed bump and a road kill?
About 40 mph.
I still remember my grandpa's last words, "Stop wobbling the ladder, you cunt!"
One time my friend nutted into my bag of trail mix.
I guess you could say I fucking ate a different kind of nut.
Getting hurt is a bone-breaking experience. It's such a spine-tingling event!
My blind son got hit by a car when he was riding his new bike. He should have been paying attention.
When they say you live by the sword, you die by the sword, not in Paul Walker's case. He lived by the car, died by a tree. Well, I guess the car was stumped.
Imagine if Joe Biden was elected for a second term.
He would be the first president to be assassinated by a slick bathtub.
Did you hear about the guy who got his entire left side cut off? Well, he's dead.