a little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks " whats that" the little boy says that's my little red race car. 10 minutes later the boy looks down and ask's whats that,the little girl says "that's my little red race car garage. so later that night the boy ask's the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage, She say yes and they pull down there pants and the boy try's putting his little red race car in her garage but it won't fit down stairs the mother hears an ear piercing scream and runs up stairs flips on the lights and see's blood on the floor the mother ask's "what happened the little girl say's "we tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn't fit so i cut the back wheels off"
Three nuns died in a car crash. They went up to heaven at the pearly gates. The gatekeeper said, "This really should not have happened, so I am going to send you back to earth as different people. Tell me who you want to be or look like." The first nun said, "I want to look like Madonna." Puff, you look like her now, but you can’t use her name. And sent her down to earth. The second one said, "I want to look like Marilyn Monroe." He then makes her look like her and sends her down to earth. The third nun said, "I want to look like Sarah Pipalini." The gatekeeper says to her, "Sarah Pipalini, who is that?" She gives the gatekeeper a newspaper article. He reads it, shakes his head no, and says, "It’s not Sarah Pipalini, it's Sahara pipeline laid by 500 men."
Lil Timmy and Lil Susie are taking a bath together. Lil Susie looks down and says, "hey what's that?" Lil Timmy looks down and says, "oh that, that's only my little red race car." They continue on with their bath.
Then Lil Timmy looks down and says, "hey what's that?" Lil Susie looks down and says, "oh that, that's only my little red race car garage." They continue with their bath. Then Lil Susie says, "hey, what if we try to put your little red race car in my little red race car garage."
The parents downstairs then hear a bloody scream. They rush upstairs and then say, "what's wrong?" Lil Susie says, "well Lil Timmy tried to put his little red race car in my little red race car garage but the back wheels wouldn't fit so we cut them off."
I ran over my neighbor's cat last night, and I just want to say... that thing was fast! I had to run a red light to get it!
When two wheel chairs hit each other is it a fender bender
They said I couldnt drive. now they know i cant cause they are all dead
I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears, people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that.
Why didn't Sally get home from work?
She got hit by a bus.
It squrted in my eye god dammit
Boy: Why is my sister named Rose?
Dad: Someone threw a rose out of a car and it hit her in the head.
Boy: Okay, Dad.
Dad: No problem, Brick.
Two kids walked into a bar, they were covered with blood. the bartender asked what happened. The youngest said "Well, we we're trying to paint our basement but we threw the babies too hard".
A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He yelled, "Doctor! Doctor! I can't feel my legs!" The Doctor replies, "I know, I amputated your arms."
There was a little boy named Chris who was addicted Roblox. One day, his grandpa fell into a deep coma caused by a head injury. One day, little Chris went to visit his poor grandpa. He brought his Windows 10 too, but it had no charge in it. After pulling out some wires and placing his into the wall, he started to hear a long beeping sound, but ignore it and continued to play Roblox. Chris's parents came and saw what had happened. The dad then yelled, "You dumb f***, you killed my father!!!" Then Chris said "Yeah. He was worth robucks, too.
a conductor was conducting a song, at the end he through his conductor's stick and killed someone, he was put to the electric chair but nothing happened, they asked why he didn't die and he replied, "I'm a bad conductor"
Why did Sally get to go to Hawaii for free?
She washed up on the beach.
Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone
He got ran over by a bus
I told my friend to fly a plane,
But he threw a ramp of a roof
What's black, white, and red all over?
A bi-racial car wreck.
Why did I walk across the road?
To get hit by a car.
my blind son got hit by a car when he was riding his new bike he should have been paying attention
