I was visiting an orphanage and started to pull in close to the building. My car hit 3 speed bumps, and it caught me off guard. I got out of my car, looked under my tire, and saw three orphans wedged in my tire. I started to get worried, but then I thought to myself... nobody will miss them.
True story: my math teacher mr.ueberoth accidently marked a kahoot as 100 points in googleclass room instead of 10 if he doesnt find out the grades will be more hyper inflated than zimbobwa’s economy.
Suicide isn't a joke. It's called "parkour gone wrong."
Tony's wife got a divorce from Tony. She said she wanted to be an independent woman.
Days later, Tony's wife had an accident. Guess who's crawling back for help. 💀
If Kobe missed a shot, his helicopter will too.
I think Paul Walker and 9/11 jokes are great, but when I tell them to others, they tend to crash and burn.
A vampire goes to the bakery.
Vampire: "One bun, please."
Baker: "But you're a vampire, don't you need blood?"
Vampire: "Yes, there is an accident outside and I need something to dip."
What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A school bus full of children.
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and the people at the old folks home?
They both collapsed.
Luckily, his funeral was a closed casket, sorry, his car blew a gasket.
When they say you live by the sword, you die by the sword, not in Paul Walker's case. He lived by the car, died by a tree. Well, I guess the car was stumped.
This boy in my high school choir class had a decently big forehead, so I leaned in and said, "You know, if you painted an H on your forehead, maybe Kobe would've landed."
A cement mixer has collided with a prison van. Motorists are asked to look out for 16 hardened criminals.
I will never forget my grandfather's last words:
"Can you hold the ladder correctly, damn it!"
Today I found out that my cat got hit by a car accident. Well, I guess I'm gonna play ninja fruits on my hands again. It's not like anyone will notice.
Person 1: “Hey, today was great!”
Person 2: “What happened?”
Person 1: “I ran into my ex today.”
Person 2: “What’s so great about that?”
Person 1: “I was in my car.”
What's the difference between paul walker and a computer? I care when my computer crashes
Why is it bad to climb a tree?
You might fall on an orphan! 🫥
Just accidentally emailed a porn link to a co-worker... So I emailed ten other co-workers the link and called it a virus.
Papyrus was playing with the human, but then Papyrus fell and he broke the cell bone of the human.
