Abuse jokes
How do you make rape funny? Tickle her while you do it.
Q: How can you tell that a pedophile likes music?
A: He rapes D minor.
When you accidentally wipe a little too hard and your finger goes up your bumhole, triggering flashbacks of when you were 10 and your uncle stayed a few weeks. 😂
My conversion therapy done worked. Now I only sleep with my sister and not my brother.
A wise man once said, "don't think young, think tight." He was a priest.
What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.
What's a similarity between The Ark of the Covenant, The Holy Grail and a bunch of 12 year olds?
They are all locked in the Priest's basement.
How many Michael Jacksons does it take to screw a light bulb?
Oh wait, Michael Jackson only screws little boys, my bad.
I'm in jail for 5 minutes and I already got fucked 15 times. You don't have any idea how much I hate playing Monopoly with my dad.
You ever hear of a reverse exorcism?
It's where the devil tells the priest to get out of the child.
How does a peadophile help a kid with maths? He adds the bed, divides the clothes, and multiplies with the whole classroom.
A police officer pulls over two Catholic priests. He says he's looking for two child molesters.
The Catholic priests look at each other: "We'll do it!"
Say what you will of pedophiles, but you can't ignore their problem with immature ejaculation.
When I was a little boy, I had this dream. I was eating a giant marshmallow.
When I woke, I was being sexually abused.
What shoes do pedophiles wear? White vans.
How do pedophiles fit in? They force it to go in.
How do you make a 16 mm hole into a 40 mm hole? A pedophile comes in.
What did Santa say when he was passing over some hookers? "Ho ho ho!"
How many beaten children does it take to change a light bulb for a drunken father?
Apparently not enough to impress him.
A man is consoling his nine-year-old daughter after she had been sexually assaulted.
"You need to be more careful," he said as he wrapped his arm around her, "this time it was me, next time it could be a total stranger."
I hit a ball with a bat, it was called animal abuse.
It's not rape if they can't say no. Duct tape.
Why can't religious women be raped? Because they are taught to never say no!