Abuse jokes

What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.

When you accidentally wipe a little too hard and your finger goes up your bumhole, triggering flashbacks of when you were 10 and your uncle stayed a few weeks. 😂

I'm in jail for 5 minutes and I already got fucked 15 times. You don't have any idea how much I hate playing Monopoly with my dad.

How do you make rape funny? Tickle her while you do it.

Have you heard about the pedophile who was found guilty of robbery?

- He robbed children of their innocence.

How does a peadophile help a kid with maths? He adds the bed, divides the clothes, and multiplies with the whole classroom.

Say what you will of pedophiles, but you can't ignore their problem with immature ejaculation.

What shoes do pedophiles wear? White vans.

How do pedophiles fit in? They force it to go in.

How do you make a 16 mm hole into a 40 mm hole? A pedophile comes in.

What did Santa say when he was passing over some hookers? "Ho ho ho!"

How many beaten children does it take to change a light bulb for a drunken father?

Apparently not enough to impress him.

How many Michael Jacksons does it take to screw a light bulb?

Oh wait, Michael Jackson only screws little boys, my bad.

You ever hear of a reverse exorcism?

It's where the devil tells the priest to get out of the child.

Why can't religious women be raped? Because they are taught to never say no!

What sort of file turns a one inch hole into a two inch hole?

A pedophile.

I hit a ball with a bat, it was called animal abuse.

What's better than sex with your 12 year old sister?

Rolling her over and pretending it's your 10 year old brother.

Why is the Catholic church in favor of condoms now?

It's now getting harder to hide DNA evidence.

No one cares if you bully an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

My dad’s nickname for me is ‘Tiger’.

Now, my wrists look like a tiger.

It's not rape if they can't say no. Duct tape.

If you're ever bored, just rape an orphan! What are they gonna do, tell their parents?