Abuse jokes

What's the best thing about being a pedophile? You can choose the fit profession where you find kids most.

My mum touched my friend, but she wasn’t the she’s only 12.

Who was the meanest man in the world?

He raped Helen Keller and threw her down a well, but not before cutting off her fingers so she couldn't yell for help.

Rape jokes aren’t funny. People like me that are actually victims of rape are triggered by them.

One night when I was six, I had this super annoying accent, and when I said the number "six," Oh no... One night my Catholic priest asked me how many cookies I needed for my family. I told him six, but thanks to my accent being mixed with many others including Scottish, French, and Russian, it sounded like I said "I need to have sex." He looked at me strange then pulled me into a closet, being a pedo.

When Momma asked me why I was missing for 6 hours, I told her, "I went to get the cookies like you told me to, and father raped the Christianity out of me." The angry look she gave my father was amazing. Then with my Papa, she beat the hell outta him.

Serves him right.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw the baby.

Why do orphans like pedos? Because it's someone that loves them and they can call "daddy."

The parents used to hit him.

His parents got into a car crash and died.

He became an orphan in an orphanage. The people there hit him. He looked up and said "Parents?"

Why are orphans very abusive to their kids?

Because they never had loving parents of their own.

I got raped when I was 5 in my princess pajamas by my dad. Nobody laughed at these jokes; they just cried.

7 little children gathered around the bed Bill Cosby's fantasy.

All he wants to do is tickle the kids, it's as plain as can be.

7 cellmates gathered around the bed ready to rape Bill Cosby instead.

Why do pedophiles never cum first?

Because they like to cum in a little behind.

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing, you haven't told her twice.

What do you call a cross between a priest and a child?

The cross shoved up the priest’s ass as he ‘downward dogs’ the kid.

How many rapists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Punchline: One, but they prefer soda bottles instead.

Why should you wrap your hamsters in duct tape?

So they don't explode when you f*** them.

What do Michael Jackson and ACN have in common? They both go in little kids.

Why don't molestation victims speak up about their trauma? Because it's a touchy topic.

You abuse me that I have no beards, but your sugar daddy shaved them off to look cute. 🤔

I would give you a thrashing, but that would be animal abuse.