Abuse jokes
You can beat up orphans, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?
What’s the easiest way to make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail—it’ll be delighted!
Is it just me, or when you wipe your ass too deep, it reminds you of your uncle? Just me?
What’s the difference between a doctor and a pedophile?
The doctor doesn’t enjoy giving physicals.
Why is it so easy bullying orphans?
They can’t tell their mom.
You know what they say about dark humor: it hits harder than a drunk parent.
Two priests are pulled over by the police. One priest asks the cop what the reason for pulling them over is. The cop says, "We are looking for two child molesters." The priest look at each other and tell the cop they'll do it.
Why did the pedophile cross the road?
To get to the other preschool.
What do you call a sneaky child molester?
Incogpedo.
What did Michael Jackson say to the child sitting on him?
“Just beat it! Just beat it!”
I was talking to my friend, and he said, "I lost my virginity to a girl, and then she stopped coming to school." And I said, "Probably because she was fired."
Michael Jackson and Kelly Clarkson both did shady stuff to children. Michael Jackson said that there is nothing wrong with sharing a bed with unrelated small children. Kelly Clarkson said that there is nothing wrong with physically beating a small child.
The thing is, though, only one of them made "Billie Jean" or "Beat It", and the other is just a typical karaoke country singer. So no surprise people gave Wacko Jacko a pass.
What's a similarity between The Ark of the Covenant, The Holy Grail and a bunch of 12 year olds?
They are all locked in the Priest's basement.
Whenever you're mad, just punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
If you're ever angry, go ahead and punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
If you are ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
My conversion therapy done worked. Now I only sleep with my sister and not my brother.
Q: How can you tell that a pedophile likes music?
A: He rapes D minor.
A wise man once said, "don't think young, think tight." He was a priest.
On a hot summer's day, a famous celebrity tweeted, "It is a beautiful day, and I'm deciding which kid to have fun with today." To which the local priest replied, "I too am deciding which of your kids to have fun with today."