Abuse jokes

This is not a joke, but if your uncle tells you, "Bend over, touch your toes, I'll show you where the monster goes," don't do it, hehehehehe.

What does broccoli and sex have in common?

If you were forced to have it as a kid, you’re gonna hate it as an adult.

I found Jeffrey Epstein’s diary the other day.

The last entry was about 12 years old.

What do priests give children?

Syphilis.

What is the difference between your dad and a video game?

Your dad doesn’t beat you.

A child and a child molester walk into a forest together. The child turns to the molester and says, "Boy, these woods are scary." The molester says to the child, "You think you're scared? I have to walk out of here alone."

Where did Jeffrey Epstein go to college?

Bring them young.

Why should you wrap your hamsters in duct tape?

So they don't explode when you f*** them.

Michael Jackson and Kelly Clarkson both did shady stuff to children. Michael Jackson said that there is nothing wrong with sharing a bed with unrelated small children. Kelly Clarkson said that there is nothing wrong with physically beating a small child.

The thing is, though, only one of them made "Billie Jean" or "Beat It", and the other is just a typical karaoke country singer. So no surprise people gave Wacko Jacko a pass.

What's the difference between child abuse and abandonment?

The abused ones are forced to listen while being abused, while abandoned kids cry because they don't have parents anymore.

A policeman walks up to a van with two priests and says, "We're looking for two child molesters."

The priests both look at each other for a moment and then say, "Okay, we'll do it."

My son wore his new "Go Vegan" Hoodie for the first time today, and already he's been verbally abused as well as being punched, kicked, & spat on!!!!

And he's not even left the house yet!!!

When Chris Brown heard he wasn’t the only one to hit a woman.

Stop the cap.

Yo mama so short, when she tried sniffing cocaine, she couldn’t get high.

Yo mama so short that when she tried to sniff meth, she couldn’t get high.

A young boy is stood on the top of a cliff crying. A priest approaches and says, "Why are you crying my son?" "My parents just crashed the car off the cliff and died." "It's just not your day today is it?" Said the priest, unbuttoning his flies.

Why can't you make jokes about catholic priests?

Because they blow up in your face.

I dated a girl, and I didn’t know she was previously in an abusive relationship.

I thought she just REALLY hated high-fives.

Who wants to see me rape a toddler?

What’s the difference between a Catholic and a rabbit?

One has kids to protect from predators, and the other has kids for predators.