Abuse jokes
Why should you wrap your hamsters in duct tape?
So they don't explode when you f*** them.
Michael Jackson and Kelly Clarkson both did shady stuff to children. Michael Jackson said that there is nothing wrong with sharing a bed with unrelated small children. Kelly Clarkson said that there is nothing wrong with physically beating a small child.
The thing is, though, only one of them made "Billie Jean" or "Beat It", and the other is just a typical karaoke country singer. So no surprise people gave Wacko Jacko a pass.
What's the difference between child abuse and abandonment?
The abused ones are forced to listen while being abused, while abandoned kids cry because they don't have parents anymore.
A policeman walks up to a van with two priests and says, "We're looking for two child molesters."
The priests both look at each other for a moment and then say, "Okay, we'll do it."
My son wore his new "Go Vegan" Hoodie for the first time today, and already he's been verbally abused as well as being punched, kicked, & spat on!!!!
And he's not even left the house yet!!!
When Chris Brown heard he wasn’t the only one to hit a woman.
Stop the cap.
Yo mama so short, when she tried sniffing cocaine, she couldn’t get high.
Yo mama so short that when she tried to sniff meth, she couldn’t get high.
A young boy is stood on the top of a cliff crying. A priest approaches and says, "Why are you crying my son?" "My parents just crashed the car off the cliff and died." "It's just not your day today is it?" Said the priest, unbuttoning his flies.
Why can't you make jokes about catholic priests?
Because they blow up in your face.
I dated a girl, and I didn’t know she was previously in an abusive relationship.
I thought she just REALLY hated high-fives.
Who wants to see me rape a toddler?
What’s the difference between a Catholic and a rabbit?
One has kids to protect from predators, and the other has kids for predators.
Where do rape victims live?
In kennels.
How do you know if a rapist loves you?
He will rape you many times.
What's the difference between a penis and the bible? Nothing, the priest shoved them both down my throat.
Have you heard about the pedophile who was guilty of robbery?
He took a girl's innocence.
How do you know you've found a priest? When little Timmy is glued to his crotch.
How do you make an 8 year old girl cry twice?
Wipe your bloody cock off on her favorite teddy bear.
I snorted a line of coke off my 8-year-old sister’s tiny prepubescent vag. She just laid there and let me do it without complaining, probably because she was already dead.