Abuse jokes
"The rise of atheism is going to lead to a break down of social morals and lead to all kinds of filth, including an increase in child abuse," said the village priest.
The village scientists did some fact checking. In prison, they found roughly 70% of child abusers were hyper religious before committing the crimes, and another 20% converted to religions to look 'remorseful'. The remaining 10% preferred not to say. They presented the findings to the media.
"Scientists slander good religious folk and ignore the weight of evidence!"
"Is Science biased against religion? You decide in this survey," they reported.
The village priest is living at his majesty's convenience and tells the others he committed armed robbery.
"Why is this a joke? It's not even funny!" said the person reading this, breaking the forth wall.
What is funny is you got to the end of this post and didn't cringe. Why not?
A police officer pulls over two Catholic priests. He says he's looking for two child molesters.
The Catholic priests look at each other: "We'll do it!"
My friend looks more red than Mr. Krabs.
It’s weird, I could’ve sworn I saw the silhouette of a belt hurling towards him the other day.
What has 2 legs and loves to play with little kids? The local priest.
What do the Spanish people call child abuse? Pedrophile.
"I know that everyone is allowed to act stupid once in a while, but you’re really abusing that privilege."
A man is consoling his nine-year-old daughter after she had been sexually assaulted.
"You need to be more careful," he said as he wrapped his arm around her, "this time it was me, next time it could be a total stranger."
What’s the best part of raping an 11 year old girl?
Getting to kill the little bitch after you’ve finished with her.
What's a priest's favorite toy?
A mute little boy.
If you're having a bad day, just slap an orphan. Who are they going to tell? Their parents?
Daddy, I really miss you. Mummy changed my name to Tickle Timpson. Anyway, daddy I forgive you for abusing me.
What do you call a virgin kid locked in a room with a pedophile? Past tense.
My uncle is an alchemist.
He can turn 3 bottles of beer into 4 hours of abuse.
Why should you abuse the hell out of an orphan? Because what are they gonna do? Tell their mom or dad?
The daughter of an incestuous pedophile goes into the living room where he is watching TV and asks him if she can borrow the car that evening.
"Sure honey! If you suck my dick!"
So she gets down on him but something is wrong. She pops her head up and says: "Dad! This tastes like shit!"
"Oh yeah, I forgot," says the father. "I already gave your brother the car for tonight."
What’s the difference between cancer and my abusive stepdad?
My stepdad did beat cancer.
Miksi Michael Jackson sopisi joulupukiksi?
Hän tyhjentää säkkinsä lapsiin.
Roses are red, violets are blue, If I slapped you, that’d be animal abuse.
I would give you a thrashing, but that would be animal abuse.
This joke is so that this reaches 69 jokes.