Abuse jokes
Why don't molestation victims speak up about their trauma? Because it's a touchy topic.
When is a rapist safe around children?
When his plans are oven ready.
Men should provide their disobedient daughters with their own "milk" instead of letting them use the mother. That will teach those bitches some respect for men. It may even help them get laid later on in life.
Kid: *runs down the street* HELP ME!
Officer: You OK, kid?
Me: Don't worry! He's my nephew, there was a big spider.
Officer: Oh, OK, ma'am. *walks off*
When officer leaves:
Me: *gets whip* What did I say about leaving the basement?
So I saw a bag full of children near a dumpster. I guess we know where the orphans are when the parents didn’t want them.
Wouldn’t want to hope a Catholic priest comes along, otherwise the priest will have new sex toys.
Did you hear that Michael Jackson once got food poisoning?
He ate 12-year-old nuts.
"The rise of atheism is going to lead to a break down of social morals and lead to all kinds of filth, including an increase in child abuse," said the village priest.
The village scientists did some fact checking. In prison, they found roughly 70% of child abusers were hyper religious before committing the crimes, and another 20% converted to religions to look 'remorseful'. The remaining 10% preferred not to say. They presented the findings to the media.
"Scientists slander good religious folk and ignore the weight of evidence!"
"Is Science biased against religion? You decide in this survey," they reported.
The village priest is living at his majesty's convenience and tells the others he committed armed robbery.
"Why is this a joke? It's not even funny!" said the person reading this, breaking the forth wall.
What is funny is you got to the end of this post and didn't cringe. Why not?
A police officer pulls over two Catholic priests. He says he's looking for two child molesters.
The Catholic priests look at each other: "We'll do it!"
My friend looks more red than Mr. Krabs.
It’s weird, I could’ve sworn I saw the silhouette of a belt hurling towards him the other day.
What has 2 legs and loves to play with little kids? The local priest.
What do the Spanish people call child abuse? Pedrophile.
"I know that everyone is allowed to act stupid once in a while, but you’re really abusing that privilege."
A man is consoling his nine-year-old daughter after she had been sexually assaulted.
"You need to be more careful," he said as he wrapped his arm around her, "this time it was me, next time it could be a total stranger."
What’s the best part of raping an 11 year old girl?
Getting to kill the little bitch after you’ve finished with her.
What's a priest's favorite toy?
A mute little boy.
If you're having a bad day, just slap an orphan. Who are they going to tell? Their parents?
Daddy, I really miss you. Mummy changed my name to Tickle Timpson. Anyway, daddy I forgive you for abusing me.
What do you call a virgin kid locked in a room with a pedophile? Past tense.
My uncle is an alchemist.
He can turn 3 bottles of beer into 4 hours of abuse.
Why should you abuse the hell out of an orphan? Because what are they gonna do? Tell their mom or dad?