Abuse jokes
I'd tell a joke about how my mom was abusive, but I either forgot everything, or she just wasn't there.
A Catholic priest finds a young boy crying at the top of a cliff.
“What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
The boy points down. “Mummy and Daddy were in the car and it went over the edge.”
The priest can see the flaming wreck below. He looks around and sees no one else is about and starts to unbutton his belt.
“It’s really not your day, is it?”
What do you call it when Hitler abuses his wife?
Adolf Hit Her.
When you accidentally wipe a little too hard and your finger goes up your bumhole, triggering flashbacks of when you were 10 and your uncle stayed a few weeks. 😂
Why is it OK to hit an orphan?
Because they can’t tell their parents.
You abuse me that I have no beards, but your sugar daddy shaved them off to look cute. 🤔
It's not rape if they can't say no. Duct tape.
Being raped is like a dance; sometimes it hurts, sometimes it hurts more.
What do you call a sneaky child molester?
Incogpedo.
Like if your dad is abusive.
Why can you hit orphans?
Because they can't tell their parents.
No one cares if you bully an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Why do orphans have no bruises?
Because they have no dad to beat them.
What do you call a lamp that molests young boys? A Jacko Lantern!
I was raped everyday for years. I can still smile. I hold the record for the widest asshole.
Who was the meanest man in the world?
He raped Helen Keller and threw her down a well, but not before cutting off her fingers so she couldn't yell for help.
So, my sister is a feminist. I asked her, "Do you want to hear a rape joke?" She said no. I still decided to force one down her throat anyway.
What are a doctor's and a WWE fighter's ideas on child abuse?
Doctor's: Don't do it, it does not help. Mood behavior.
WWE fighters: If it can crawl, it can brawl.
You know, having an uncle is a good thing sometimes! I get a pair of shoes every week. He says it’s my reward for playing the tickle game with him in his damp and dark basement. It hurts sometimes. But hey, new shoes!
Why do prepubescent orphan girls love pedophiles? Because they get to call someone “Daddy”.