Worst Jokes Ever
Guys, I promise I’m not suicidal, I just like dark things.
*proceeds to walk around the house with headphones in and stare at the ceiling while laying down on the couch*
What do you call a group of white people running down a hill?
An avalanche.
I think it’s dumb that people say a woman belongs in the kitchen.
How else is the rest of the house going to get cleaned?
What do you call a surprised Asian?
Ho Lee Fuc.
What's an emo's favorite part about being dunked?
The hangover.
A mirror and a beer bottle are arguing.
The beer bottle says: "If you break me, you get one year of bad luck."
The mirror scoffs: "Oh, that's nothing. You break me and you get 7 years of bad luck."
The condom overhears these arguments and walks off laughing.
What do you call an Asian who gets a B?
It's not a B-sian.
Dead.
What’s the difference between black matter and Black Lives Matter?
Black matter leaves an impact.
what do you call an American looking at cloud shapes?
Oppenheimer
My son told me he has to bring an object for show and tell at school.
So I had him bring my wife.
I think God is cool with abortion.
After all, he did kill his only son.
What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in a bathtub?
Throw them some laundry.
I would never slap a woman, then I’d be destroying property.
A woman approached me in the street the other day with one of those charity collection buckets and asked me: Do you know how often people die from AIDS?
I said: Now I'm no expert, but I think it's only once.
What do you call two gay Irishmen?
Patrick Fitz Gerald, and Gerald Fitz Patrick.
Did you know Paul Walker had dandruff?
Neither did I until I found his Head and Shoulders in the glove compartment.
Why do orphans enjoy playing tennis?
It's the only way they’ll get love.
What do you get when you cross a Jewish person?
Christianity.
A guy barges into a psychiatrist’s office and screams, “Doctor! I have suicidal tendencies! What do I do?!”
The doctor calmly answers, “Pay me in advance.”
What does a cannibal do after eating its vegetables?
Sells the wheelchair.