Worst Jokes Ever
Notice on a shoe repair shop: I’ll heel you, I’ll save your sole, I’ll even gladly dye for you.
I told the emo girl that I bet she's jealous of the hanging lights in the gym.
What's the difference between a priest and a pimple?
A pimple will wait until you're 12 years old to come on your face.
A policeman walks up to a van with two priests and says, "We're looking for two child molesters."
The priests both look at each other for a moment and then say, "Okay, we'll do it."
My son came up to me and said, "Dad, I'm depressed."
I pointed to the spare room and said, "Hang in there, son."
What do you get when you dip a duck in blue paint?
A very pissed duck.
I had a JFK joke, but it went right through my head.
Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese girl?
You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets it.
Why do white people own a lot of pets?
Because they're not allowed to own people anymore.
“The difference between Asians and Caucasians is the cau-”.
My girlfriend went to Tokyo, and she died in the tsunami.
Since I was sad, my friend told me, "Don't worry, there's plenty more in the ocean."
What's the similarity between a pepperoni pizza and Freddy Krueger?
They both have red circles on their bodies.
Your mum is so slow, it took her nine months to make a joke.
Q: What's the difference between a Genealogist and a Gynecologist?
A: One looks up the family tree and the other looks up the family bush.
Cremation. My final hope for a smokin’ hot body!
TV: Water found on Mars...
Mars: 1
Africa: 0
Why did I give an orphan the iPhone X?
Because it is the first one without a home button.
My mom interrupted my gaming session to tell me to hang up the lights.
I hung something else instead.
So, I was walking around the outside of the building and I saw a kid and asked, "Where's your parents?" I love working at the orphanage.
I tried to fight a razor. It cut me so deep I thought I would die.
Turns out he didn't kill me. I was never happy, but that shit made me angry.