One time, me and the bois got drunk and we were on the freeway...
...when the road was closed because a wild animal species named “The Cult” was on the loose.
Worst Jokes Ever
Slow and steady wins the race...
...but it will never fix your ugly face.
A few days after her husband’s death, a widow accidentally receives an email from a man waiting for his wife in Spain.
The email reads: "Dearest Wife, just got checked in. Everything [is] prepared for your arrival tomorrow. P. S. It’s really hot down here!"
Boss: Can I do a reference check?
Me: I don’t have a...
*sensei appears*
Me: oh no
Sensei: He was a good student, but he lacked kizma.
Boss: What's kiz...
Sensei:😈
Me: Oh no, here we go.
Sensei: Kizma AS-
Two Indians talk over a long distance using smoke signals.
In the middle of the conversation, a nuclear bomb explodes behind one of them, and a huge cloud of smoke rises silently into the sky.
The other Indian signals with smoke: "Not so loud!"
I asked my dad to come to my Father’s Day breakfast.
The orphanage worker just said, “Don’t be silly!”
What do you call a fat downie?
A couch potato.
Why can't gays drive faster than 68 mph?
Because at 69 they blow a rod.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought the Grinch was ugly until I saw you.
What did the hijackers say when they crashed into the Twin Towers?
"Jenga!"
Me: If my face looked like yours, I would sue my parents.
Sensei: That’s funny, because when your parents dropped you off at the temple, they got a fine for littering.
Cop: Hehe, that’s funny because I gave them the fine!
Is anyone going to Sawcon?
Your kid's so ugly he would make a Happy Meal cry.
Ever heard of account stealing?
Ever heard of someone by the name of "#SHUT THE HELL UP GWEN DON'T EVEN DATE PRINCE ON FACE BOOK!!!!!!!! I HATE IT WHEN UR HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"?
Why can't you tell an Indian a secret? Because the red dot means they're recording!
Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil?
Because it’s pointless!
Why don't gays shop at sports authority?
They prefer Dick's.
What did the moose say after leaving the gay bar?
"Man, I blew 50 bucks in there."
Why are most politicians in the closet or gay?
Because all they can do is mandate.
Did you hear about the gay guy who got kicked off the golf course?
He was playing with too many strokes.
