Worst Jokes Ever
When you're fucking your boss's daughter, then you realize that you are self-employed.
A pedophile is at a school parent night. He's holding hands with an eight-year-old girl when he's approached by another parent. She says to him, "Oh, what a darling little girl you have there." The pedophile replies, "No," then points his finger to a child across the room and says, "That's my child."
Yo mama so dumb, she got hit by a cup and told the police she got mugged.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
One's plastic and dangerous to play with; the other is to carry groceries.
What does PEMDAS stand for?
Please End My Depression And Suffering.
If a man drove over a woman, whose fault was it?
The man, because he shouldn't be driving in the kitchen.
What do a convention of nerds and Kurt Cobain's garage have in common?
There's brains all over the place.
Genders are like the twin towers. There used to be two of them, and now it’s a sensitive subject.
I'm not saying I hate you, but if you got hit by a bus, I'd be driving that bus.
Did you know the people in the twin towers were great readers?
Yeah, they went through 80 stories in seconds.
What was the last thing going through the minds of the 9/11 jumpers?
Their ankles.
How do they execute paraplegics?
With the electric wheelchair.
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and an ugly girl? The Twin Towers at least got fucked.
What's Thanos' favorite game?
Half-life.
Why was the T-rex so angry? You would be angry too if your arms were too short to masturbate.
What is the difference between the rook and the bishop? The rook goes straight, while the bishop moves diagonally.
What's the best thing about abuse jokes? The punchline.
What's the same about "Make a Wish Program" and "Dark Jokes"?
They never get old.
C'mon guys, 9/11 jokes are just plane wrong.
My friend gave me sugar for my birthday. She thought it was cheap; I thought it was pretty sweet.