Worst Jokes Ever
A suicidal boy went up to a tree and said "hi".
The tree never responded; it left him hanging.
What’s the difference between your dad and your hairline?
Nothing, they both ran off.
What does my arm have in common with paper?
They both can be cut.
The depressed kid walked into the counselor's office.
"I'm feeling like killing myself," he said.
"Oh no! Don't worry, sweetie, just hang in there!," the counselor responded.
What do my parents have in common with Nemo? They can't be found.
Why did the chicken cro-
UM, ACTUALLY, THE CHICKEN CAN'T CROSS THE ROAD UNLESS IT'S UNDER SOME ROOSTER OR HEN SUPERVISION OR ELSE THE CAR WILL CRASH THE CHICKEN, AND THEY WILL DIE. 🤓
Why did the math book kill itself?
It had too many problems.
childhood skipped @iissoo.00 fr😵💫
I told my dad that I wanted to go to a college with a 100% acceptance rate and a 50% graduation rate, and he said, "Your mom doesn't count as a college!"
Inela, your hairline goes so far back I remember seeing it in the stone age! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Mum: Why are roses red?
Child: Stop, Mum, you never make jokes.
Mum: I made you.
Why is the number 10 always scared?
Answer: He’s in the middle of 9/11.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Answer: Special forces.
What has 4 wheels, no wings, and flies?
A dead cripple.
Hatsune Miku is not from an anime.
I beat up a failed musician until he started crying.
I thought a few hits would cheer him up!
This lady has 2 parrots that only say one thing: "Hi, we're prostitutes, wanna have some fun?"
So she goes and tells her pastor. He responds with, "I have two parrots as well, they are always praying, and they have everything that a parrot needs to be a Christian. Maybe if we put our parrots together, mine will fix yours."
They proceed to do so, and the lady's parrots say, "Hi, we're prostitutes, wanna have some fun?" and the pastor's parrots reply with "Johnny, drop your beads and lift your heads, our prayers have been answered!"
Little Johnny comes down for breakfast because he lives on a farm, and his mother asks if he has done his chores or not.
"Not yet," says little Johnny, so he goes to feed the chickens, cows, and pigs. He ends up kicking the chickens, cows, and pigs and goes inside and asks why he got a dry bowl of cereal. His mother responds with, "I saw you kick the chickens, so no eggs for a week. I also saw you kick the pigs, so no bacon for a week either. I also saw you kick the cows, so no milk for a week either."
Little Johnny's father comes downstairs and kicks the cats. Little Johnny looks at his mother and says, "You want to tell him, or should I?"
Roses are red, lemons are sour.
Spread your legs and give me an hour.
My biology teacher told us "get out nice and sharp colored pencils." Does she mean as sharp as in the blades I use to cut myself?