Worst Jokes Ever
Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up. Class: *no one stands up* Teacher: Oh c'mon. I know someone over here is dumb. *waves her finger around the left side of the room* Little Johnny: *stands up* Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you're dumb? Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you're standing alone.
Past, present, and future walked into a bar... things got tense :). Pls send help, yet once again :).
How do you start a rave? Throw a flash bang into an epileptic children's ward.
Unlike my syndrome, I keep my chin up. 🙌🏽😁
Why does Kurt Cobain hate his brother?
Because he's always calling shotgun.
What's the city with the fastest growing population?
Ireland, cuz it's Dublin everyday!
I told my friend ten puns to see what one made him laugh. No pun in ten did.
Q. What do you call a Mexican Jedi?
A. a PadaJuan.
When your mom tries to hit you with the belt but misses and hits herself... #victoryroyale
I bought a new shotgun the other day. Want to know what I called it?
Kurt Cobain's microphone.
I’m so annoyed by those people who just believe in anything they hear. This is a conversation I had a few days ago.
Idiot: "The moon landing was faked! So unbelievably fake!" Me: "You believe in the moon? Stupidass."
Abortion, it really brings out the kid in you.
Q: What type of mother gives their daughter sperm? A: A furry mother.
What did the pedophile say to the kids?
"FUCK!"
What turns red, blue then white? The last person that I'd strangle.
I don’t know what’s worse: Finding bucket loads of porn on my dad’s laptop, or finding out he was in all of them.
What do lesbians do when they have a problem? They finger it out.
I've been trying to find jokes about gouging my eyes out, but I couldn't see any.
A Christian Missionary walks up to some people and says, "Come! Meet Jesus!"
One of the guys takes out a knife and says, "You first."
Three women were in heaven. The angel at the gates said, "How good the ride into heaven is for you, is determined by your commitment to your most recent partner."
The first lady says, "2 years, 2 side-hoes." She got an old lexus.
The second lady says, "10 years, 1 visit from a prostitute." She got a Mercedes-Benz.
The third lady says, "I never had a husband."
The angel says in response, "F*ck me and then you can have a lambo."
They all arrive in heaven, to see the second lady crying.
The first lady says, "I know we are dead, but it could be a lot worse."
"How!?" The third lady cries, "The angel has a flute for a d*ck!"