Worst Jokes Ever
What songs do people with no arms listen to?
None, 'cause they can’t press play.
I asked my North Korean friend, "what's it like to live in North Korea?" He responded, "can't complain."
What goes in and out and saves your life but is not sexual?
Diabetes.
Even a psychopath is sympathetic when an onion self-harms!
If you read this, you fucked your dad and your 4-year-old sister, you sick fuck... At least wait till they are 15.
Why was Sally at the hospital after her parents left? Because they put her up for adoption.
Which president has never gone to jail?
Lincoln because he's innocent in a cent, get it?
What did the wind say to the palm tree? "Hold onto your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job."
So a cupcake walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender says to himself, "Damn, this is some good shit."
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Why do you never play a game of cards in the jungle? Because there are cheetahs!
Why does Santa have such a big sack? He only comes once a year.
Timmy: *grabs box of Trojans*
Daddy:...
Timmy: Well come on diddy!
Daddy: Well shit lets go son!
Both: YEE YEE
SWEET HOME ALABAMA
A cop pulled me over and shouted, "Papers!" I shouted, "Scissors!" and drove off.
My friend, Jackson Huge-T, got raped by Huge-D's.
How do you pet a psychopath's cat?
You get it out of the microwave.
Calculate my dick, virgins!
How do you sex?
With penis!
Jajajajja funny joke epic laugh. I have been detained, please help!
You're at your girlfriend's house for a family dinner. Your GF says, "Daddy, please pass me the salt," when you and her father begin to reach for the salt.
Jack and Jill popped some pills to get a little tipsy.
Jack got a surprise and bloodshot eyes because Jill gave him a roofie.