Why did Paul Walker regret turning in his test?
Because his grade went from 99 to 0 in less than a second.
What's the difference between a cactus and a school bus?
On a bus all the little pricks are on the inside.
My sister is pregnant, I'm gonna be a dad.
Yeah, you can call me daddy, son.
I just wanted to say to never let go of family; they are everything. Never let anyone walk all over you. And if you are with me, like this quote.
What do you call a crippled terrorist?
An RC-XD.
I went for a job interview today and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."
"Well, I'm your man," I replied. "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."
The way you talk is so slow that they put you in the movie Fast and Furious and changed the title to Slow and Serious!!!😂😂😭
I know you don't like me, and that implies you need better taste.
I'm not an astronomer, but I'm pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun... not you.
I'd give you a nasty look, but it seems like you've already got one.
Your birth certificate should be rewritten as a letter of apology.
You haven't changed since the last time I saw you. You really should.
Hi, I am just wondering who went into my account, 'cause I've changed my password, by the way.
What's the difference between you and an egg?
An egg gets laid.
Did you know I'm a really fast reader?
I can go through a few stories in just a few seconds!
What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? (Dam!)
if you play minecraft: your dog is still waiting for you in the world you made along time ago.
Son: Dad, I know I'm adopted.
Dad: Well, how do you know?
Son: I found the adoption papers.
Dad: That is for your mum.
If you know, you know.
Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?
He just needed a little space.
What are emo kids' least favorite lollies?
Life Savers.
If there is a guy in a wheelchair and he is a bully, say, "I’m still standing."
How do cats masturbate? They lick they pussy.
How do cats relieve themselves in front of people? By licking their puss.
I've tried to like all of your jokes. They are funny 😆 and joshisboss, you are awesome. Keep up the good work 👍!