Worst Jokes Ever
Where did Michael Jackson go to college?
Bring 'em young.
One night when I was six, I had this super annoying accent, and when I said the number "six," Oh no... One night my Catholic priest asked me how many cookies I needed for my family. I told him six, but thanks to my accent being mixed with many others including Scottish, French, and Russian, it sounded like I said "I need to have sex." He looked at me strange then pulled me into a closet, being a pedo.
When Momma asked me why I was missing for 6 hours, I told her, "I went to get the cookies like you told me to, and father raped the Christianity out of me." The angry look she gave my father was amazing. Then with my Papa, she beat the hell outta him.
Serves him right.
Three blondes were taking a walk when they stumbled on some tracks. They argued on what the tracks came from. One of them said, "it's a deer." The other said, "No it's a coyote." The last one was going to give her thoughts, but that was when the train hit them.
The only time rape jokes are okay; is when they aren't forced.
What do you tell a female with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, you already told her twice.
Rape is such an ugly word, I prefer the term "struggle snuggle."
I wasn't staring at you; I was trying to figure out if that's your forehead or the moon.
Why is it so easy to bully an orphan? What are they gonna do, tell their mum?
Tried to kill myself today using a bungee cord, I kept ALMOST dying.
What do you call a bee that lives in America? A USB.
Somebody stole my joke.
So I stole their spinal cord.
If I went to Walmart, I would be able to scan my own wrists because they're barcodes too.
What's the difference between meat and fish?
If you beat your fish, it'll die.
What do you call a night guard at the glory hole inside a adult bookstore?
Guardian of the confessional booth.
Porn.
Where is the cheapest gun range? Your local public school.
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie talkie? He can’t walkie or talkie.
How did the security guard at the orchid get better at his job? He got an Apple Watch.
One man's pet is another man's dinner.
A man once went to a doctor because his leg was turning blue.
The doctor said that his leg had to be amputated as it was getting poisonous.
The man then got plastic prosthetics.
Next day even the prosthetics started turning blue.
After much examination, the doctor found that the patient's pants were shedding color.