Worst Jokes Ever

I'd make a joke about an obese person, but it won't work out.

What did the hematologist say when his Canadian patient wrote that he's blood type "eh"? "Ah, probably just go with blood typo!"

Q: How do you know an Asian person was in your house?

A: Your homework is done, breakfast is made, and your cat is gone.

Question: How bad is German WiFi?

Answer: It's the wurst.

I'm a fast reader, I can go through 20 stories in a few seconds.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke marijuana. Jack got high, pulled down his fly, and asked if she wanna. Jill said yes and pulled up her dress, and they had a little fun. Stupid Jill forgot the pill, now they have a son.

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed? Tell him to clap until his parents come home.

After the shooting, people were asking why they would do it.

They wanted to stop but it turns out they were playing an online game.

What did the orphan get for Christmas?

Lego figures from his friend, but they ran away too.

Roses are red, I like girls from the South, a 425-pound teacher gets suspended after sitting on a kid's head and farting in his mouth.

My girlfriend asked me if we could have anal sex, and I said, "What's that?" She said, "I fuck her ass." I said, "Oh, my uncle calls that shhhhh."

Friend: *hits head* Others: How many fingers am I holding up? Me to friend: How suicidal am I on a scale from one to ten? Friend: Ten Me: He's fine guys.

Why did Sally get a black eye?

Because she tried to play patty cake.

I like when people say they hate me because we have something in common. <3

If I hung myself from a cliff, would people call me a cliffhanger?

So my friend's birthday was coming up, so I got him a new box to live in.

I can measure the speed of an object, because I want to km/s.

I got a lot running through my head right now. I wish at least one was a 12-gauge round.

Why are Deepika Amar's jokes so shit?

Because he is a smelly cunt.

At what speed is the curry going at?

In a hurry to the curry, man!