Worst Jokes Ever
Teachers at a school shooting be like: damn it. That's the third one this week and it's only Monday.
My grandfather said we rely on technology too much, so I unplugged his life support. Luckily, I remember his last words: "You little bastard!"
Nobody:
Michael Jackson: giving kids a free cream pie.
What do you call a blind racist?
A not see.
When a fat person steps on a scale, it says: “To be continued.”
Who was purple and wanted to rule the world?
Alexander the Grape.
I'm shocked, my new toaster isn't waterproof.
My dad told me a new version of a happy birthday song:
Happy birthday to you, you live in a zoo, you look like a monkey, and you smell like one too!
No offense to anyone reading this on their birthday.
Confucius say, female pilot who fly upside down have crack up.
What do you call a dwarf police officer?
A guinea pig.
Dad: You’re looking pretty sheepish.
Son: That’s too baaaaaad!
Why don't midgets use tampons?
Answer: They are always tripping over the string.
I got kicked out of the hospital for saying, "Stay Positive," to the corona patients.
My autistic son hates taking baths or showers.
I don’t blame him, I don’t like soggy vegetables either.
A man comes home and hears his wife talking about having sex at the club. The man busts into the club with a revolver and says, "WHO TF FUCKED MY WIFE?" Well, everyone looks over and is quiet, and someone in the back says, "Mate, you don't have enough bullets."
When a fat person wants to kill themselves, why are they so worried? The diabetes will get to them sooner or later!
How do you rape a girl?
By doing a tornado kick to your head since you stupid kids like rape jokes!
Doctor: I've got good news and bad news.
Patient: What's the good news?
Doctor: I've got you flowers.
Patient: Awww, What's the bad news?
Doctor: They're for your grave.
Why did the cheetah always cheetah against the lion?
Because she knew the lion was always lion.
Sometimes I just wake up in the morning and think, "Damn, better luck next time!"