Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between Stephen and a car? A car loses oil, Stephen loses the ability to walk.
Why was Stephen Hawking's wife mad at him?
She caught him having an affair with his shoulder.
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?
Dark humor is 10 babies in a trash can. Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trash cans.
When you ask your sister if she wanna smash, but then she grabs the Switch.
What do you call a pineapple in a pun?
A Puneapple.
Why can't Michael Jackson go within 500 meters of a school?
Because he's dead.
What's the difference between a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants?
One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.
Your mama so fat, when Santa saw her he said, "Ho, ho, holy s***!"
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
*School shooting happens*
Foreign exchange student: *Sobbing under desk*
American student: "First time?"
Chuck Norris and Medusa had a staring contest. Medusa turned to stone.
Remember kids, when you're angry, burn down an orphanage. Then they'll really be living the hard knock life.
My name is Caleb, and I like boo and eat it.
Most states:
"It's ok, it won't be awkward. We're still friends."
Alabama:
"She didn't wanna be my girlfriend anymore. But she said she'll still be my sister."
I decided to visit Saudi Arabia with my girlfriend.
She and I learned they celebrate Pride month by throwing stones.
I pooped in a bottle and stuck my finger through it.
I took some of the boo boo out, licked it, and rubbed it on a wall, making a BOO BOO portal. I jumped into it and I saw BOO BOO LAND. I rolled all in the chunk poop and drank the diarrhea.
My mom told me it's not healthy to stay in my room all day... but the only places I'm allowed to go to are my room and downstairs.
The colors red, white, and blue are the colors of freedom. Until they are flashing behind you.
When you are f***ing your girlfriend and then she tells you that you f**k like your guys' dad.
Then you f**k your mom and she says the same thing.
After a surgery, a man claimed he couldn't feel his legs. I replied, "Of course not, I amputated your fucking arms!"