Worst Jokes Ever

What happens when you eat a cat?

I love to eat cats for dinner!

"Demon Slayer" is yay, and who's your favorite in "Demon Slayer"?

Hi, I am Emma. I'm going to Stan.

Doctor: "I'm sorry, but you suffer from a terminal illness and only have 10 to live."

Patient: "What do you mean 10? 10 what? months? weeks?"

Doctor: "9, 8, 7..."

A buddy and I checked out some books from a local library. When we returned them, he said, "Your sister works the returns, right?" I told him, "Yes, she does, and she will be here in about five minutes." He said, "Why don’t we put a cookbook in the women’s sports section?" I told him, "I love it!" So I picked out a Reese Witherspoon book.

Why was six afraid of seven?

Because seven eight nine.

I was walking down the street and I punched a white guy and then I was arrested for assault.

The next day after I got out, I punched a black guy and I was arrested for impersonating a police officer.

If you're reading this, you are Nickel and Gallium......

Ni- ........*something else in between the two halves*................Ga

YOU FUCKING MONKEYS!

"Sigma" - By every boy in my class.

Life is like a penis: women make it hard for no reason.

I was sitting on my own in a restaurant when I saw a beautiful woman at another table. I sent her a bottle of the most expensive wine on the menu. She sent me a note, “I will not touch a drop of this wine unless you can assure me that you have seven inches in your pocket.” I wrote back, “Give me the wine. As gorgeous as you are, I'm not cutting off three inches for anyone.”

There used to be Wonder Woman.

Now we wonder, what is a woman?

What is the difference between Bill Cosby and a rap artist?

The word "art."

Why were the rappers late for their flight?

They forgot to pack.

Who is my favorite underground rapper?

XXX Tentacion

During a discussion at Sunday school, a nun asks the children what they think God takes you by when you die. A kid responds, "I think God takes you by your feet, because once I walked into my parents' room and my mom's feet were in the air and she was screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!!!"

I'm reading a horror story in Braille. Something bad is about to happen, I can FEEL it!

What’s the key to a successful relationship?

Consent.

Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

Yo mama so dumb, when the bartender said "beer is on the house" she grabbed a ladder.