Worst Jokes Ever
Bf: "Roses are red, violets are blue, you're my bf and I luv you."
Gf: "I luv u too."
Bf: "But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, I heard you were cheating, I'll knock off your head."
Gf: "Ah, about that..."
Yo hairline be lookin' like Elmo's toe fungus.
Whoever invented school, I hope you burn in hell.
Little Johnny's mom is taking a shower. Little Johnny walks in and asks, "What is that in between your legs?" Mommy says, "That is my keyhole." The next day, Little Johnny sees his dad taking a shower and Little Johnny asks, "What is that in between your legs?" Daddy says, "That is my key." The next day Little Johnny says to his dad, "Looks like the neighbor has the key to Mommy's keyhole too."
Roses are red and violets are blue, my best friend is Sue, and she's blue, too.
(meaning sad)
Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he doesn't know if he is black or white.
Why did they invent glow-in-the-dark condoms? So gay people can play Star Wars.
Why is a white guy in prison scarier than a black guy in prison?
The white guy actually did it.
I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage.
I lost the case.
You have a six-minute timer to live, but when you breathe, it resets.
What do you call a group of black people?
A hoodie.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special Forces.
3 men walk up to Indians, one American, one Muslim, and one African American. The Indians say, "We're all gonna kill you." One of the men asks why. The Indian says, "So we can use your skin to make kyanks." He also says, "Y'all decide how you die." The Muslim says, "I want to drown," so they drown him. The African American says, "Shoot me." And the American grabs a fork and starts poking himself everywhere, I mean everywhere. The Indian said, "What's the point of this?" and the American says, "F**k your kyanks."
My brother's addicted to buying ladders; he loves to get high.
I would tell jokes about Kobe, but they would just crash and burn.
Michael doesn’t fart. Jackson does.
A seizure is just an excuse for break dancing.
What category of music did JFK like?
You could say he was a metalhead.
Doctor: I diagnose you with obesity.
Patient: It runs in the family.
Doctor: Nothing can run in your family.
What do you do when you get locked outside your house? You talk to the lock, because communication is key.