Worst Jokes Ever
What do Time Clocks like to play?
Tick Tack Toe.
Why are there 25 letters in the alphabet? Because the D is in U.
Teachers at a school shooting be like: damn it. That's the third one this week and it's only Monday.
Nobody:
Michael Jackson: giving kids a free cream pie.
What do you call a blind racist?
A not see.
When a fat person steps on a scale, it says: “To be continued.”
Who was purple and wanted to rule the world?
Alexander the Grape.
I'm shocked, my new toaster isn't waterproof.
What do you call a dwarf police officer?
A guinea pig.
Dad: You’re looking pretty sheepish.
Son: That’s too baaaaaad!
Why don't midgets use tampons?
Answer: They are always tripping over the string.
My autistic son hates taking baths or showers.
I don’t blame him, I don’t like soggy vegetables either.
When a fat person wants to kill themselves, why are they so worried? The diabetes will get to them sooner or later!
Doctor: I've got good news and bad news.
Patient: What's the good news?
Doctor: I've got you flowers.
Patient: Awww, What's the bad news?
Doctor: They're for your grave.
Why did the cheetah always cheetah against the lion?
Because she knew the lion was always lion.
Sometimes I just wake up in the morning and think, "Damn, better luck next time!"
Two to the one from the one to the three, I like good pussy and I like good trees, Smoke so much weed you wouldn't believe, And I get more ass than a toilet seat.
Three to the one from the one to the three, I met a bad bitch last night in the D, Let me tell you how I made her leave with me, Conversation and Hennessey.
I've been to the motherfuckin' mountain top, Heard motherfuckers talk, seen and dropped, If I ain't got a weapon I'ma pick up a rock, And when I bust yo ass I'ma continue to rock.
Getcha ass of the wall with your two left feet, It's real easy just follow the beat, Don't let that fine girl pass you by, Look real close 'cause strobe lights blind.
Bf: "Roses are red, violets are blue, you're my bf and I luv you."
Gf: "I luv u too."
Bf: "But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, I heard you were cheating, I'll knock off your head."
Gf: "Ah, about that..."
Yo hairline be lookin' like Elmo's toe fungus.
Whoever invented school, I hope you burn in hell.