Worst Jokes Ever

Did you know the pool in the Titanic is still full?

What's yellow and can't swim?

A school bus full of disabled children.

Why is Helen Keller's child blind too? She always fed it with a fork!

If I place a slide on the edge of a cliff or a really high building, would going down it be considered "suislide"?

Asking for a friend.

What animal do you always find at a baseball game? A bat.

Hi, welcome to Dave's Orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may I help you?

A man is sitting on a bench at a playground where children are playing. A man named Chris comes up and asks, “Which one is yours?” The man said, “I don’t know, I’m still deciding.”

Being gay sounds like a pain in the ass.

You find yourself stuck in a hole with a murderer, a rapist, and a lawyer. You're armed, but you only have 2 bullets left. What do you do?

Shoot the lawyer. Twice.

What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus?

One is hairy and smells like fish, and the other is a walrus. You're welcome.

What do pedophiles and Sandy Hook have in common?

Shooting up schoolchildren.

What do you call a group of redneck superheroes?

The Inbredibles.

Kenny is living with his girlfriend now.

He just moved back in with his mom.

I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping up onions, which made me cry.

Onions was a good dog.

Tell a dark joke to an orphan, then hit them. They'll get the punchline right away.

Roses are red.

Violets are blue.

Once I'm done choking you,

You will be too.

What's the difference between a bus full of children and a fish?

The fish can swim.

What's the difference between a battery and my wife? The battery has a positive side.

I love Brussel sprouts more than I love myself.

A hillbilly female has to decide if she would save her brother or her boyfriend. She chose both because her brother is her boyfriend.