Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between an emo kid and a pack of Oreos? The bar code on the emo kid gets longer every day.
Three men walk into heaven at the same time. They all live in the same city. God asks the first man, "How did you die?" The man says, "I have a heart condition, and I've been suspecting my wife of cheating for some time. Anyway, I get home from work and I see my wife on the bed and a man hanging off the balcony. I get so mad and stomp on the guy's fingers! He falls into a bush, so I throw a refrigerator on him." God asks the next man, "How did you die?" The man says, "I was cleaning the windows, and then this crazy man starts stomping on my fingers! Luckily, I fall safely in a bush! But then a refrigerator falls on me!" God asks the third man, and he says, "I was the one in the fridge!"
Why be homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist when you can be quiet?
A necrophiliac woman goes over to her friend's house after hooking up.
"Was it hung?" her friend asks.
"No, he was shot."
My son asked me what dark humor was, so I told him, "see that kid in the wheelchair, ask him to stand." He said, "But Dad I'm blind." Exactly.
What's the difference between a gay guy and a freezer? The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They both used their brains to paint the walls.
Why can't Stephen Hawking be a Rocket League car? Because he can't jump for an aerial.
KFC doesn't mean Kentucky Fried Chicken, it means "Kill Fat Children."
I told kids to make a family tree. God, I love working at the orphanages.
What’s the difference between an emo and grass? The grass doesn’t cut itself :D
An orphanage is like a horse rescue. You rescue them, rehabilitate them, then sell them for as much as possible.
What do you call a movie with kids with cancer? ... Finding Chemo.
When the quiet kid has an argument with the school shooter, and you didn't get to pull out the AK.
What did the acorn say when it grew up?
Geometry.
(Geometry= "Gee, I'm a tree!")
Your mamma is so fat that even a North Korean missile would have competition.
I got raped by my therapist... now I know where the name comes from!
You find some dust on the ground. Your friends dare you to snort it... Then you realize you're in a crematorium.
Bitches be like "Kill all men" till a black guy dies.
What do you call a priest in a room full of naked boys?
A colonoscopy.
"My dick fell off in the shower!" suddenly a bright flash of white lights. You see God smiling at you. "Joseph, where is your wiener, little one?" He says, chuckling lightly.