Worst Jokes Ever
What is it called when an orphan takes a family photo?
A selfie.
I took my mother-in-law out yesterday morning.
Damn, I love being a sniper.
What does Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
They're both turned on by kids.
What did the girls on the beach say to Michael Jackson?
"Could you move? Your sun is in my son."
I'm glad I'm not a pornstar... that would be pretty sucky.
What do you call an orphanage that's not an orphanage?
A homeless shelter.
How to get quick cash:
Step 1: Kill a child's parents.
Step 2: Do foster care for them.
Step 3: Get paid for doing foster care.
Why can black people post offensive jokes about making fun of white people, but white people can't post offensive jokes about making fun of black people? Because white people have white privilege. Does it cycle?
Why are Americans so bad at chess?
They lost 2 towers.
The popular girl told me, "I bet your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory!"
Two weeks later, she shows up pregnant.
...
I guess her rubber broke too.
How do you win an argument against a emo? kick the chair.
Did you know Yao Ming has the biggest penis in Chinese history? It measured in at nearly 5 inches!
Read this slow: I 1 2 4 Q?
It's not that I don't get the laugh, but most of you need to read through what's already been posted, 'cause everybody's saying the same sh*t.
Yo mama so fat, she broke Usain Bolt's 100 meter speed record by taking ONE STEP!
Hit 'em with the 1, 2, Jeffery Dahmer!
"Sir, we're mining too many useless mineral ores."
Hitler: "Mine less, then."
Grammar Nazi bursts in: "MINE FEWER!"
Hitler looks over: "Yes?"
Roses are red, violets are black. Why is your chest as flat as your back?
Hey, wake up. I just murdered your family, but I live alone.
Then who are these people in your house? They are people in my house? Well, not anymore, dumb bitch. You're welcome, you could have died.
best friend makes 9/11 joke.
you: "hey, my dad was inside the tower."
best friend: "I'm sorry."
you: "I always knew he was a great pilot."