Worst Jokes Ever

What is the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a Harley Davidson?

The location of the Dirtbag.

Trump's medical records were just released. According to the brain scan, the left side of his brain has nothing right, while the right side has nothing left.

I ran out of bras, so I wore...

My grandma's underpants!

Why won't Trump be subject to impeachment?

Answer: Because Republicans in Congress insist that every baby be brought to full term!

What's the hardest line to draw in a hospital?

... A FLATLINE!

What did one buttcheek say to the other buttcheek?

"Together we can stop this shit."

I used to be a banker but I lost interest.

Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She always ran away from the ball.

Why can’t bikes stand? Because they are two tired (Too tired).

How do you punish Helen Keller?

You leave the plunger in the toilet.

What do you call an autistic kid who just saw Transformers? Autistimus Prime.

When your grandma says she's rusty but still manages to teach you.

My friend asked me how fast my humor was, and I said it jumps borders. Then he asked how dark my humor is, and I said it picks cotton.

Q: What's the hardest thing about losing your virginity?

A: Making sure she doesn't wake up.

I lost my luggage at an airport once. I sued the airline, but I lost the case...

"I had a great day today." "Why?" "Because Allison was frustrated at her calculator and started banging it on the side of the table and the teacher screamed, 'Allison how would you like it if I banged you on the table?'"

What’s wrong with a gay bbq?

All the hotdogs taste like shit.

Why did Logan Paul go to the suicide forest?

To see who's hanging around.

That one awkward moment you have to go ask your Chinese neighbor if they've seen your dog.

Wonder why the Japanese people didn't see the bombs coming?

They didn't open their eyes.

Why couldn't the kid with Down syndrome play football?

Because he got all the downs.

Why do I f*** my mom?

Like father like son. #batabababa