Worst Jokes Ever

Kobe Bryant jokes just don't really fly well now.

Why is Michael Jackson so weak?

George Floyd was in a TV show, Fresh Prince, with no air.

My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better, so I sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wife's broken leg.

Money and my mom are kinda the same thing; they come and leave easily.

My grandpa was amazing. He killed Hitler.

What are some other names for rape? There’s the classic “struggle snuggle,” but then there’s my personal favorite “fuck fight”.

Jack and Jill went up to an abandoned house.

Jack drank too much and unzipped his fly. Jack said, "You know you wanna." Jill said, "No." So Jack locked both of them in the house and put a gag in Jill's mouth, tied her to a bed. He ripped off her dress and underwear. He took off his pants and his underwear too, then put on a condom. He then put a pill in her mouth and made her swallow. One minute later she was asleep. He took off her gag and mounted himself on her, then stuck his "candystick" in her mouth, next her fanny. Then his condom broke, but he was too drunk to notice. Nine months later a baby's born and Jack's in jail as the father.

Do you know why God created wars? To teach Americans geography.

Jill went up to a bar to play a game of pool. Then Jack came in and asked Jill if she wanted to ride in his new car. She said, "I have to think." Then Jack said, "At least let me buy you a drink." After 5 drinks, he asked again. This time she said yes, so they got in the car and Jack and Jill rode up a hill to Jack's home. Then Jack said, "Close your eyes, I got a surprise!" So Jack lead Jill to his room then said, "Open your eyes!" So Jill opened her eyes, then Jack got them some red wine. Jack got drunk and unzipped his fly and Jack said, "I know you wanna." She said, "No way!" So Jack gave her one more drink, then she passed out. Then Jack ripped all his clothes off. Then he did the same to Jill. Then he did it till 3am.

Yo mama so fat when she jumped in the water, the whales started singing "We are a family, even though you fatter than me."

What do you call a boomerang that does not come back?

An orphan's parents.

What’s the difference between a chromosome and a hormone?

You can hear a hormone.

Women are like the Twin Towers. After you smash them, and if some little people start jumping out, the government is gonna tax the shit outta you.

Me dozing off while driving.

Everyone else on the passenger plane: September 11, 2001.

Yo mama so stupid she threw a Mother's Day party at an orphanage.

Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals.

A little kid was lost, and he asked me to find his home. I love working at the orphanage.

My grandpa unplugged the AC, so I unplugged his life support.

Kenny can't find a girlfriend because neither of his sisters can fuck as good as his mom could.