Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

The furniture store keeps calling me back... But all I wanted was that one nightstand.

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  • Today someone was killed with a starter pistol. Police think it might be race related.

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  • I started a company selling land mines that look like prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof.

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  • "Son, I found a condom in your room."

    "Gee, thanks, Grandpa!"

    "Why are you calling me Grandpa?"

    "Because I couldn't find it yesterday."

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  • How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb? -- One. They are efficient and don't have humor.

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  • I was very lonely so I bought some shares. -- It's nice to have a bit of company.

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  • I only believe in 12.5% of everything the Bible says.

    Which makes me an eighth-theist.

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  • What does Bill say to Hillary after sex? -- "Honey, I'll be home in 20 minutes."

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  • What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs?

    One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.

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  • What do prime numbers and stoners have in common? The higher they are, the more spaced out they get.

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  • What happened when the semicolon broke grammar laws?

    It was given two consecutive sentences.

    I walked into a room full of men masturbating. They all looked shocked when I didn't stop.

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  • Why did Beethoven have trouble finding a music teacher? Because his teacher was Haydn.