Worst Jokes Ever
The furniture store keeps calling me back... But all I wanted was that one nightstand.
What does a robot do at the end of a one night stand? -- He nuts and bolts.
Today someone was killed with a starter pistol. Police think it might be race related.
I started a company selling land mines that look like prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof.
What did the Indian boy say to his mother as he left for school? -- "Mumbai!"
"Son, I found a condom in your room."
"Gee, thanks, Grandpa!"
"Why are you calling me Grandpa?"
"Because I couldn't find it yesterday."
How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb? -- One. They are efficient and don't have humor.
I was very lonely so I bought some shares. -- It's nice to have a bit of company.
What rock group has four men that don't sing? -- Mount Rushmore.
I only believe in 12.5% of everything the Bible says.
Which makes me an eighth-theist.
What does Bill say to Hillary after sex? -- "Honey, I'll be home in 20 minutes."
What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs?
One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
What do prime numbers and stoners have in common? The higher they are, the more spaced out they get.
What concert costs 45 cents? -- 50 Cent feat. Nickelback.
Russian history in 5 words: "And then things got worse."
What happened when the semicolon broke grammar laws?
It was given two consecutive sentences.
I walked into a room full of men masturbating. They all looked shocked when I didn't stop.
Why does Bill Clinton wear boxers? -- To keep his ankles warm.
Some day, Canada will take over the world. -- And then we'll all be sorry.
Why did Beethoven have trouble finding a music teacher? Because his teacher was Haydn.