Worst Jokes Ever
How can you tell if your wife is dead? -- The sex is the same, but the dishes start piling up.
How does a mathematician get tan?
sin/cos.
What's the difference between America and a bottle of milk?
In 200 years the milk will have developed a culture.
One time, a cow saved my life.
It was bovine intervention.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
"Ash."
"Ash who?"
"Bless you!"
Why did the math book go to the psychologist?
It had too many problems.
Why are theaters popular among cows?
They enjoy watching moovies.
Why was 9 afraid of 20?
Because 28, 29.
Damn girl, are you a smoke detector? Because you're super annoying and won't shut up.
I lent a hot girl my umbrella yesterday. That takes the number of girls I've made wet this year to -1.
How many dead prostitutes does it take to change a light bulb? Obviously not 8, because it's still dark in my basement.
How's Donald Trump going to get rid of all the Mexicans? -- Juan by Juan.
Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs? -- Because the cow has the udder.
Why was Cinderella banned from playing sports? Because she always ran away from the ball.
What's the difference between England and a tea bag? -- The tea bag stays longer in a cup.
I've decided to marry a pencil. I can't wait to introduce my parents to my bride 2B.
Three men are on a boat. They have four cigarettes, but nothing to light them with. So, they throw a cigarette overboard and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter.
There's 10 kind of people in the world. Those who know binary and those who don't.
Where do the Borg eat fast food?
Borger King.
3.14% of sailors are...
π-rates.