Worst Jokes Ever
I can't handle these puns...
But I can HAND you some puns!
Budum tiss!
Who make hard candy for the kids?
Solve.
Me: Hey, what book are you reading?
Him: "The Twisted Ones."
Me: Uh, I guess that book is pretty twisted.
What do you call a cow with 2 legs?
Lean beef.
I wank over Rose Watson.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It doesn't matter, he's dead.
How did I know where you would go next?
Oh, I felt it in my bones!
What do you call a person whose heart stopped?
Dead.
What happens when Stephen Hawking dies?
The Windows shutdown sound plays.
What does a skeleton tile his roof with?
Shin-gles!
Why did the skeleton want a friend?
Because she was feeling bonely.
What? A telephone? Nah, I'm using a telebone.
My brother truly is a numbskull.
My favorite instrument? The TromBONE, of course.
I once asked a sketchy man at a bar for some relationship advice. He simply replied, "They're all dead hookers once they're in the trunk."
Where would you take Stephen Hawking if he dies, the funeral directors or PC World?
Why couldn't the dinosaur clap? They're dead!
I have 3 eyes, 2 ears, and 6 mouths, what am I?
UGLY!
I've done a ton of work today.
A SKELE-ton of work!
Yo mama got a daughter in a relationship, and I don't have time for you, ASAP, daughter, daughter, or your mother, or your call, or your choice of choice.