Why is there no gambling in Africa?
Too many Cheetahs.
Worst Jokes Ever
Why do shepherds never learn to count?
Because if they did, they would always be falling asleep.
I used to be a banker...
But then I lost interest.
What's the most fun a monk can have?
Nun.
What kind of tea do wealthy people own?
Proper-Tea.
What STD can you get from phone sex?
Hearing AIDS.
I don't trust atoms.
They make up everything.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
It's easy to roast beef.
What was the last thought Jesus had before he died?
"Man, I could really use a crowbar right about now."
What do you call someone with one arm and no legs?
Names.
Where did the sheep get a haircut?
At the baa-baa shop.
How do you get 30 drunk Canadians out of the pool?
"Please get out of the pool."
What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
A roamin' Catholic.
What do you call a fruit that argues against the position it supports?
The Devil's advocado.
What do you call disabled people that follow politics?
A special interest group.
What did the leper say to the prostitute?
You can keep the tip.
What do you call it when a chameleon won't change colors?
A reptile dysfunction.
What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman?
"Wait, I can explain everything!"
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
Dr. Dre.
A hamburger walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry. We don't serve food here."
