How many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb? -- Just Juan.
Worst Jokes Ever
Did you hear about the man who was accidentally buried alive? -- It was a grave mistake.
Why did 10 die? -- He was in the middle of 9/11.
How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank his coffee before it was cool.
Why are colds such bad robbers?
Because they're so easy to catch.
What do you call 2 octopuses that look exactly the same? -- Identical.
What did the neutrino say to the planet?
"Just passing through."
What do dogs do when they lose their tail?
They go to the retail store.
Two windmills are standing in a field and one asks the other, "What kind of music do you like?" The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."
I had a conversation with a Möbius strip.
It was one-sided.
Why did the author go to the emergency room?
His editor told him he needed an appendix removed.
Where do cows keep their historical cultural artifacts?
In the mooseum.
Why did the gym close down? -- It just didn't work out.
What is the difference between American teenage girls and Muslim teenage girls? -- American teenage girls get stoned *before* they have sex.
How can you tell if your wife is dead? -- The sex is the same, but the dishes start piling up.
A man walks into a library and says to the librarian, "Do you have that book for men with small penises?"
The librarian looks on her computer and says, "I don't know if it's in yet."
"Yeah, that's the one!"
I just found out I'm colorblind. It came out of the yellow.
Donald Trump wants to ban the sale of pre-shredded cheese.
He wants to make America grate again.
I got into a fight with 1, 3, 5, 7, and 9. The odds were against me.
"How is your long distance relationship going?" -- "So far, so good."
