What did Captain Picard say when he brought his sewing machine to the repairman? -- "Make it sew."
Worst Jokes Ever
What is the best thing about living in Switzerland? -- Well, the flag is a big plus.
Can a match box? No, but a tin can.
How much does it cost a pirate to pierce his ears?
A buccaneer.
What did the Tin Man say when he got run over by a steamroller? -- "Curses! Foil again!"
What do you call an atheist bone? -- A blasfemur.
How do you stop your newspaper from flying away in the wind? -- Use a news anchor.
What did the cow say when it saw the farmer twice in one day?
"Deja moo!"
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
When do you know you are getting a good deal on a boat? -- When there's a sail on it.
What was Frankenstein's second job? -- He was a bodybuilder.
Where did Milky Way get its degree?
At the university.
What do vegetarian zombies eat?
Graaaaiins.
What did mama cow say to baby cow? -- "It's pasture bedtime."
Why was the DJ banned from the supermarket?
He was stealing all the samples.
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? -- Because they lactose.
Why did the girl quit her job at the donut factory?
She was fed up with the hole business.
What did Spock encounter in the Enterprise toilet?
The Captain's Log.
"What does the word 'gay' mean?" asked a son of his father.
"It means 'happy'," replied the father.
"Oh," contested the son, "so you are gay then?"
"No, son, I have a wife."
I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. -- I lost my case.
