Worst Jokes Ever
What did Stephen Hawking's wife say to him when he came home drunk?
Nothing... she couldn't tell.
A guy walks into the house carrying a sheep and says out loud, "This is the pig I screw when you're on the rag."
His wife replies, "That's not a pig, it's a sheep."
He says, "I was talking to the sheep."
For Stephen Hawking, why is being drunk and having his power shut out the same?
He blacks out.
He might have been a Fortnite player. Respect him.
What did Stephen Hawking say on the stairway to heaven?
Oh, fuck! I can’t get up them.
Number 1 ventriloquist dies at age 76, will be mist.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite type of basketball?
Dribble.
What's the difference between a BMW and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a BMW in my garage.
In about ten days, Stephen Hawking's wheelchair is going to have its first and last service.
My grandfather had the heart of a lion,
and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He had a computer virus!
What do you call an animal underground? A fossil.
Why are some people African?
Because genes, you dummy!
Where did Stephen Hawking go when he wanted to get drunk? The Genius Bar.
What's the best part about dead baby jokes?
They never get old.
What's 72?
69 with 3 people watching.
Who is Stephen Hawking's wife?
The American Siri.
What is Hawking's number one song? The Beach Boys: "I Get Around."
Don't trust the atoms, because they make up everything.
Guys, I'm sorry about these bad puns. I should've kept my big Meowth shut.