Worst Jokes Ever
Heard Stephen Hawking is in a new movie and that the theme tune is absolutely banging. Think the opening line goes something like, “They see me rolling, they hating.”
Two cows are standing in a field.
Cow 1: Did you hear about the outbreak of mad cow disease?
Cow 2: Good thing I'm a helicopter.
A teacher says to her class one day, "Whoever answers my next question can go home."
A boy throws his bag out the window.
The teacher asks, "Who just threw that?"
The boy says, "Me! I'm going home now."
Well, I don't have a joke but... I have a poem.
My dick is red, your pussy is blue. I... lied to you.
Wanna hear a joke? You.
pussi
Why did lil Susie fall off the swing? She didn’t have any arms.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Not lil Susie.
What did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?
Same time next month?
James: I have a joke. Sex!
Ronny: I don't get it.
James: Exactly.
Yo mama is so fat, she sat on a quarter and popped a booger out of George Washington's nose.
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking in a house fire.
My mum told me to stop playing with my sister. She said, "At least wait for her to be born first."
How did the dead baby cross the road?
It was strapped to the chicken.
Why should you stay away from trees? - Because they wanna be leafed alone.
A man is at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. A few years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: “What the hell was that all about?”
Q: What has two wings and a halo?
A: An Asian phone call, "Wing, Wing, Halo?"
What do you call a woman who says she can do anything a man can do?
Wrong.
What do you call a couple Mexicans getting stoned in a bush? Buches baked breans.
If the shoe fits perfectly, why did it fall off?
I had a dream of swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it is just a FANTAsea.