Worst Jokes Ever

Dead baby jokes never get old...

Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Man, it's hot in here!"

The other muffin says, "OH MY GOSH A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!"

What is a Mexican's favorite type of dog?

A Chihuahua.

What's the difference between you and Hitler?

Hitler knew when to kill himself.

What do you call a dog with no legs?

It doesn't matter; he's not coming.

How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thin you slice them. -Hope Marie Lawson

Why did Stephanie fall off the swing?

Because she has no arms.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Not Stephanie!

Why did the bank robber shoot the man with no arms?

Because he told the man to put his hands up.

I named my daughter Kennedy so when I talked about how her brain was shot out of her head, people just thought I paid really close attention in history.

Why did the guitarist get fired as a carpenter? He was shredding the floor...

What is Beethoven's favorite fruit? Ba na na na.

What do you call someone who used to kill people? An ex-executioner.

I had a dream about the whole ocean being filled with orange soda.

Turns out it was a Fanta sea.

What is the definition of GAY?

Thunwa :D

Someone stole my toilet, and the police have nothing to go on.

I'm gay.

Donald Trump announced he will run for prez today. His hair will on Friday.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it looked in the mirror.

Your mom... OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them.