Worst Jokes Ever
I used to have a friend who worked at a car shop who liked hunting.
I’m not friends with him anymore because he turned my dog into a car-pet.
Pedophiles are just fucking, immature assholes.
A man goes to the library to find the best book about committing suicide. So when he asks the librarian, "What's the best book on committing suicide?" The librarian said, "Oh, fuck off...you won't bring it back anyway."
My dishwasher is broke.
Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Oh, wait, he doesn’t walk.
What did the clock say when it got punched at noon?
It’s twelve o'clock.
What did one cell say to his sister when she stepped on his toe? Mitosis!
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
No, neither has he.
Your mum is so stupid, she tried to take the crown off a "Keep Calm and Carry On" poster so that she could become the new queen of England.
Yo mama such a quitter, she di[ed].
So Steph Curry and Lebron James went on a vacation, and Steph Curry said, "Try not to travel!"
اي تيجي اللمة بتخلص your storage
Hellllllllloooooo
What's brown and sticky?
What did you think! A stick......
What should you use to battle a T-Rex?
A dino-sword.
What do you call an angry shopper?
A cuss-tomer.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas?
We dunno, she ain't opened it yet.
Why do I carry pepper spray?
Just in case of as-SAULT.
"So you dropped my instruments on stage?"
"It was only the Bass!"