What do gay horses eat?
Hay.
The past, present, and future walk into a bar.
It gets really tense.
What are the three worst words to hear while you are having sex?
Honey, I'm home!
Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Where you left it.
What do you call a drunken Muslim?
Mohammered.
What did one fish say to the other?
Keep your mouth shut and you'll never get caught.
Why couldn't the lizard get a girlfriend?
Because he had a reptile dysfunction!
My bank loves me. They told me my credit card balance is outstanding.
What did the leper say to the prostitute?
Keep the tip.
Just because she weighed as much as two women... Doesn't mean you had a threesome.
The early bird might get the worm...
But the second mouse gets the cheese.
