Worst Jokes Ever
A wise man once said, "don't think young, think tight." He was a priest.
What's worse than locking your keys in the car in front of an abortion clinic?
Having to go back inside and ask to borrow a hanger.
what is the fastest land animal? the last chicken in a Kenyan village.
Female Rights?
One night, a girl said to her family, "Goodnight Mommy, Goodnight Daddy, Goodnight Grandma, Goodbye Grandpa." The next morning, her grandpa died. That night, she said, "Goodnight Mommy, Goodnight Daddy, Goodbye Grandma." The next morning, the grandma died. The dad started to fear for his life because he was next. That night, the girl said, "Goodnight Mommy, Goodbye Daddy." The next morning, the dad woke up and he was perfectly fine, but when he went into the kitchen, he saw his wife crying. When he asked her what's wrong, she said, "The mailman died."
A man goes into heaven and there he meets Jesus. He asks Jesus what that broken clock is there for. Jesus says, "That is Mother Teresa's clock, it has never moved because she has never lied." "There is Abraham Lincoln's clock. He has lied twice so it has moved twice." "Where is Donald Trump's?" asks the man. Jesus answers, "It is in my office, I am using it as a ceiling fan."
What's the difference between a dead baby and a sandwich?
I don't put my dick in a sandwich before I eat it.
"Consent is just some fucked up feminist propaganda."
Do you want to know how to make a Smurf? CHOKE A MIDGET!
I hear skeletons like to play the saxaBONE, though I think the tromBONE would be better, but tibia honest, both can be HUMERUS, wouldn't wanna hurt your funny bone, but I think your starting to get BONELY so I'll stop pulling your leg. Now get out before I give you a bad time.
Guys, my sister's pregnant!
I'm finally a dad!
I asked my North Korean friend, "what's it like to live in North Korea?" He responded, "can't complain."
If you read this, you fucked your dad and your 4-year-old sister, you sick fuck... At least wait till they are 15.
Why was Sally at the hospital after her parents left? Because they put her up for adoption.
What did the wind say to the palm tree? "Hold onto your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job."
Why do you never play a game of cards in the jungle? Because there are cheetahs!
Why does Santa have such a big sack? He only comes once a year.
Timmy: *grabs box of Trojans*
Daddy:...
Timmy: Well come on diddy!
Daddy: Well shit lets go son!
Both: YEE YEE
SWEET HOME ALABAMA
My friend, Jackson Huge-T, got raped by Huge-D's.
Calculate my dick, virgins!