Worst Jokes Ever
My brother caught Covid last month.
First I knew about it was when he speed-dialled me at 3am and gasped, "I can't breathe, I can't breathe!"
I just told him straight: "Bro... you really need to work on your George Floyd jokes."
What did the terrorist think to himself seconds before hitting the tower?
"Did I leave the stove on?"
What do you call a gay drive-by? A fruit roll-up.
A girl said to me yesterday, "I don't know why men act like they are better than women, we all know women are supreme." I was confused, so I asked her how, and she told me, "Well, us women have a pussy, ass, and tits, while guys only have a penis. Women have 3 things while guys only have 1. Women are obviously supreme over men." I told her, "Actually, guys have more than women." "How so?" "Men have rights."
So I ran into a woman the other day who says her vaginas is like a lottery ticket. She said it's because you have to be lucky to hit it... I thought it's because she was always scratching it.
Q: What was the last thing Kurt Cobain said to Courtney Love before he died?
A: “Holes gonna be big.”
What did the Twin Towers' mom say when she fed them? "Open wide honey, here comes the airplane."
What's worse than 10 babies nailed to a tree? 1 baby, nailed to 10 trees.
Life is like a penis, women make it hard.
Drop me in Afghanistan with a Dodge Challenger Super Stock, a Mexican named Jose, a 6 pack of Dr. Pepper, a golden SCAR, a pack of chimichangas, and an M4A1, and I'll have the Taliban saying the Pledge of Allegiance in 4 hours.
Why can't orphans play poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.
What do you call a porn star that always goes back for more?
Craven Morehead.
I am a volcano.
Why are Japanese people's eyes so squinted?
Do you know how bright an atomic bomb is?
Q: Name a murderer?
A: Jews: Hitler. Russians: Stalin. Chinese: Mao. Americans: Bin Laden. Aborted fetus: My mom.
What’s harder than steel?
Michael Jackson in a playground.
What is a pedophile's favorite part about Halloween?
Free delivery.
What's got 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet?
The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
I swear, in America, one school shooter can take good care of hundreds of kids, but hundreds of soldiers can't even win a war. Might as well send all your school shooters over there.
What's the difference between yes and no...
Nothing.