Worst Jokes Ever

Why are the Twin Towers and genders so similar?

Because there used to be two of them, but it's offensive to joke about that now.

Why can't orphans watch "The Simpsons"?

Because they don't know who's Homer.

I don't get this. Why is it I go to an orphanage and all of a sudden they said I used to be the cutest baby there?

What are Michael Jackson’s favorite universities?

Brigham Young and Boise State.

What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a pimple? You never see a pimple come on a little boy’s face.

What's the similarity between pedophiles and school shooters?

They both shoot when they see kids.

On a scale of Johnny Depp having an erectile dysfunction to Michael Jackson exposing himself in a child day care center, how hard is it to get into Oxford?

I like my women like I like my traction control: disabled.

If you think about it, the 9/11 memorial is just a scoreboard.

What do Afghanistan people love about bombs?

They're black and go off.

Gay dik.

Smol Dik.

Plastik Dik.

Rubeh Dik.

Smooth Dik.

Metahl Dik.

Men and women are not equal, speaking biologically and mentally. I don't care what other feminists say. Men are naturally physically stronger, while women are more mentally stable (sometimes). The internet and the media will lie. You feminists say that you are stronger. Well, you wish. You can't hit a girl because she is more sensitive, but she says she is stronger. Like, what the hell?

We're not sexist men; you're sexist women. And BTW, you'll rot in hell for hating God's creation. And also, men were created before women. Search it up in the Bible or online.

Why are orphans so good at GTA?

Because they're not wanted.

My cousin asked me, "What do you think was going through Hitler's mind right before he died?"

I told him, "Probably a bullet."

Johnny Depp once said in an interview: "I get older, my girlfriends stay the same age."

Maybe Johnny Depp's soulmate isn't born yet. We'll see in 20-25 years.

Today, I dreamt about giving head to Johnny Depp.

Then I woke up and realized that I forgot to roll my windows up when passing through the New Jersey Turnpike.

Why is Johnson’s baby shampoo the best lubricant for anal sex?

- No more tears.

What is the difference between the Twin Towers and feminism? The Twin Towers were destroyed by terrorists, while feminism was created by terrorists.

Hi, I'm Michael Jackson, and my pronouns are hee/hee.

What do you call a black coconut?

A CoonConut.