Worst Jokes Ever

If her age is on the clock, she gets the cock.

What do you call a prostitute with a major in math?

The thot that counts.

What do Polish people in Poland use chop sticks for?

tweezers.

People are like sharks; only the great ones are white.

Dream tweeted, and I quote, "Babies kick pregnant women all the time, but I do it one time and I’m the one arrested."

What's it called if you give a kid in a wheelchair a ball? Rocket League.

What's green and smells like pork? Kermit's finger.

My mom said she will slam my head into my computer if I don't get off it. I'm not too worried though, I think she is just joking.

I stood in front of the mirror. "Joseph, I will love and protect you forever," my dick cooed. I looked down at it, a single crystalline tear sliding down my face. I was at peace.

I was stark nude. Hehe, I was. I truly and sincerely was.

The nurses giggled and said, "Joseph, why the hell is your wiener so loving?"

My penis purred and stroked their hands. I laughed and said, "I do not know."

What flour do you give an orphan?

Self-raising.

I was watching my daughter play at the park. A woman came up to me and asked which one was mine. I said I was still choosing.

What does a priest and a wristwatch have in common? They both start at 12.

What do you call 6 gay men going to war?

Rainbow 6 Siege.

Hi, I'm Madison, but for short you can call me Alex.

The dick said to the ass, "this place is a shit hole."

The ass replied, "Yes, but you still keep coming."

Americans live in the U.S.A. The quiet kids live in the U.Z.I.

Why did the feminist cross the road?

To suck my dick!

Q: What’s a koala's favorite drink?

A: Coca Koala.

Dark humor is like a dad - not everyone gets it.