Worst Jokes Ever

I hope you have to squeeze the hell out of toothpaste only for the little bit to fall down the sink drain.

Little William punched Little Johnny in the face. Then Little Johnny says, "If you do that again, I'm gonna turn your fucking nuts into coconut juice."

I told a diabetic boy to have sweet dreams, and he died the next morning.

How is the business in Ukraine? It's booming.

My fondest childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather. That is, until my mom took the urn away from me.

Where did JFK go in his car? I am not sure of his intentional destination, but he did go everywhere.

What’s the difference between a retard and a zombie? Nothing much, they both dribble, moan, are hungry, walk weirdly, and it takes a bullet in the head to put them both down.

What do you say when a cat says "me moaw"?

The cat says "me toooo!"

Why can't you solve a murder in Alabama?

All the DNA is identical and there are no dental records.

What is it called when an orphan takes a selfie?

A family photo.

I heard some twin brothers were going as buildings to the school costume contest, so I went as a plane. It didn't fly too well with people.

Pickup lines in 2022 are like: "Are you Russia? Because your bombs are so big!"

Abortion is a really touchy subject for me. On one hand, there's dead babies! But on the other hand, women get a choice.

What do an ice cream cone and a Ukrainian orphanage have in common?

Children scream when they melt.

I love you all the way to Uranus! 🤣

This girl told me people call her ugly because she is disabled. I told her to stand up for herself.

What's the difference between an orphan and a vegetable?

The vegetable gets picked.

Have you heard of the new sequel to "The Exorcist"?

A woman hires the devil to get a priest out of her son.

What do the twin towers and genders have in common? They used to be two, but now they're a sensitive subject.

An emo texted a tree, "Wanna hang out?"

The tree ghosted her.