Worst Jokes Ever
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Why did Michael Jackson cross the road?
To get to the opera.
I have a friend whose birthday is on September 11th.
They're going to have an explosive party that will definitely blow you away!
It's gonna be the bomb, and a blast, too!
How did 10 die?
Because it was in between 9 and 11.
I was going 80 in a school zone and the speed bump was screaming.
Why did Queen Elizabeth the II die?
Because she ran out of immortali-tea.
It's not nice to make 9/11 jokes. My uncle died in 9/11...
He was one of al qaeda's best pilots.
One morning a dad was sitting and watching TV.
His daughter comes in and says, "Dad! Why is my name Rose?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head." "Cool," Rose said.
The second daughter walked in and said, "Dad! Why is my name Daisy?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Awesome," Daisy said.
The third daughter came in and said, "DuUuUDeEeEeDrrrrrrrrr!!!" "SHUT UP, CINDER BLOCK!!!"
What is a prostitute's favorite form of traffic control?
Speed humps.
No matter how much I cry, the white people still left me hanging.
Did you hear about the guy that dipped his balls in glitter?
Pretty nuts, huh?
I was walking this hot girl home, then she noticed me, then the walk turned into a run.
Yo, hairline goes farther back than the Big Bang theory!
"What happened to your arm?" "Oh, uh... I became a gacha emo."
I got them red Gucci bracelets.
A man sees a small boy begging for money. He walks up to him and asks him if he is an orphan.
The boy asks, "What gave me away?"
The man responds, "Your parents."
Q: What do you call a blonde with only two brain cells?
A: Pregnant.
My black friend told me to stop making racist jokes...
...I told him to lighten up.
You know, the strangest things happen. My mom said, "Step on a crack, you break your mama's back, but if you step on a line, you break your father's spine." I stepped on the line. It didn't break his spine. Mom, who is my father?
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.