Worst Jokes Ever

Why are people surprised by Johnny Depp having $30,000 wine bills, domestic violence accusations, rampant substance abuse, poor hygiene, and the looks of a predator?

He grew up a Florida Man, after all.

A man died and went to heaven. Every time you cheat, you get a worse car.

The first man cheated 5 times; he got a Jeep. The second man cheated 3 times; he got a BMW. The third man never cheated; he got a Lamborghini.

The second man saw the third man sad. He said, "Why are you sad?" The third man said, "I saw my wife with a scooter."

What's the difference between Wacko Jacko and Elvis Presley?

14 number 1 hits.

Women should be allowed to choose: dishes or cooking first.

Your mom is FAAAAAAAAAT as FUCK.

Roses are red, I am Groot, Honey, where's my super suit?

Y'all smell like ass!

I know your hairline's pretty bent, but your gender's on a different level.

Why do orphans hate Christmas?

Father Christmas isn’t a thing.

What do you call an Asian? A stupid gook.

Foreplay in may areas: "You awake?"

Way down South: "You awake, mom?"

What's the difference between MJ and myself?

Nothing at all.

I was gonna make a joke about sex, but you won’t get it.

Today we had a test on September 11th in school. I got a 9/11.

Imagine working at the World Trade Center, only for Osama bin Laden to call and ask if he could crash at your place.

I like your mom naked.

I didn't know that COVID-19 was a thing until I saw your eyebrows and your hairline social distancing.

When you die, people cry and wish you to come back.

But when you do, people scream and run away.

Q: What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?

A: You slap her.

(amazing pick up line) Yoo, what if we got matching tattoos? You get two towers and I get a plane, because I crashed right into your life!