Worst Jokes Ever
When you're so rich that you can buy anything, you end up getting a cow in your living room. Yeah, anyways, my ex is still in my living room.
I can't tell what's farther, the Great Wall of China, or how far Paul Walker flew out of his windshield.
Why do orphan girls love pedophiles? Because they get to call someone “Daddy”!
Why does Michael Jackson have such a hard time playing chess?
He can't choose between black or white.
What did the South Tower say to the North Tower?
A 10 year old girl meets with her doctor. The doctor tells her “Katie, I’m sorry to have to tell you that your parents didn’t survive the accident. Sadly, our tests also show that you have early onset Alzheimer’s disease.”
Katie replies “well at least my parents will look after me.”
"This morning, I came out my front door to see my neighbor frantically trying to scrub off the word "PEDO" that had been spray-painted on his front window."
"What's been going on, John?" I asked.
"Fucking kids," came his mumbled reply.
The dirty bastard!
If you wait for a woman to get 9 months pregnant and kill her, you will never be able to stop the loop.
You've heard of anal sex.
You've heard of oral sex.
You've heard of genital sex.
But have you ever heard of NASAL SEX?
News: Ook! says an interviewed monkey.
Why did the Polish urologist cut his cock off with a knife?
To take care of his erectile dysfunction.
Why are people in Japan always skinny?
Because last time there was a "Fat Man", a whole city disappeared.
Men.
What's tree + tree?
Sticks! (Three + three = six)
Everyone punch orphans. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What do you call a dead baby?
Spawn killed.
My dad went to go get milk. He came back 7 years later, and we had to send him back because he got the wrong milk.
A couple enters a Chinese restaurant and takes their seats.
The waiter asks, "想吃什么 (Xiang Chi Shen Ma)?"
The wife responds, "吃鸡巴 (Chi Ji Ba)!"
What do pedophiles call children in wheelchairs?
"Meals on Wheels."
Australian says to American: why do you have such bad gun laws?
American: Self defense.
Australian: Self defense against 50 innocent children?