Worst Jokes Ever
Depressed people are lame because they are just lame, no reason.
Iron Man: Where are you from?
Thor: Asgard.
Iron Man: Do you mean ass guard?
Knock, knock. Who's there? Susan. Susan who? Season your chicken, it's too plain!
I made a website that helps orphans. Sadly, it doesn't have a homepage.
Why was I stress eating on the train track?
To wait to get hit.
One day, a child walks along and asks, "Mother, why am I called Butterfly?"
The mother replies, "A butterfly landed on you as a baby."
A minute later, another child comes along and says, "Mother, why am I called Feather?"
The mother then replied, "Because a feather fell on your head when you were born."
Then Brick comes along and says, "Ahahhsdjsjskxs."
Yo mama so ugly she the reason why Slender Man has no eyes.
What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A bus full of kids.
Mary has a house near a forest. She lives with her bro, and she once asked, "How many trees are there?" Her bro said: "I don't know." She said: "Tree."
What do turtles use to communicate?
A shellphone!
Q: Why don't cars work after you change their wheels?
A: Because they're retired!
I don't say funny stuff because I'm afraid they will take the German passport from me.
Why aren't there any stray cats in Chinatown?
There are, but they're just listed as "pork" on the menus.
There were two twin brothers, Lucas and Marcus. Marcus got a girlfriend while Lucas stayed single.
A few weeks later, Lucas was caught kissing Marcus's girlfriend, and Marcus comes over and says: "Babe, I know we're twins, but I'm Marcus, and that's Lucas you were kissing." And his girlfriend looks at him and says: "I know."
I was going to tell a dead baby joke, but I decided to abort it.
What do you get when you cross a bunny and a Honda? Just the Honda.
Q: Why can't orphans play baseball?
A: They can't find home.
Why did the orphan want to become a prostitute?
To get a daddy.
I'd tell ya a poop joke, but you're my favorite turd.
No one has my back like my dad.