Worst Jokes Ever
Why do nuns go around in pairs?
So one nun makes sure the other nun doesn't get none!
Q. What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? A. Same middle name! 😂
What's the difference between acne and a priest?
Acne waits until a boy is 13 before it comes onto his face.
Why are heterosexual women jealous of gay men?
because gay men can perform fellatio on men better than they can.
You better get used to having dry cereal cuz your dad ain't never bringing the milk back.
The best part of you ran down your mother's leg... Einstein got ready to climax while doing math but realized you can't cumtilyain cumtilion. It's after sucktillion fucktillion.
What do tomatoes 🍅 do when they meet?
They ketchup.
My wife called me ugly, and then when she found out how much money I actually make, she called me ugly and broke.
I once had a pet snake, exactly 3.14 meters.
He was a great πthon.
One man walks up to another and says, "Hey, did you hear about the kidnapping at Main Street?" The guy says, "No." The other guy says, "Oh, he woke up."
A week before Christmas my wife left me. She said I was too selfish and full of myself and she could not take it anymore.
On Christmas Eve, Santa asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I said, "All I want is the one I love more than anyone else in the world."
On Christmas morning I woke up in a box under my Christmas tree.
When you're going to Titanic: It's the best ship in the world.
When you know it's sinking: It's the poor ship!
So in class, they were learning about where food comes from:
Teacher: So kids, where does bacon come from?
Student: PIGS!
Teacher: Correct. Where does mutton come from?
Student: SHEEP!
Teacher: And finally, here’s your homework.
Student: IK where that comes from!
A FAT COW! 😂😂
Why can't antelopes get married?
Because they can't elope.
I'm jealous of cancer. My dad beat me but never beat cancer.
What do you call a bunch of biracial, retarded kids? The Special Olympics.
Just to an orphan.
Orphan: You're stupid.
You: You're so ugly, it's the reason your parents are dead.
Q: What's the similarity between a dog and a bed?
A: I can jump on my bed. A: And I use a pillow on both of them.
Do not tell an orphan family meeting; they wouldn't get it.
What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs ;)