Worst Jokes Ever
Q: Why are the 49ers called the 49ers?
A: 'Cause they can't make it past the 50-yard line.
That is a "Penny-Farthing" bicycle. Dimes if you feed it beans.
10 dicks up your mom's ass!
What do you call an obnoxiously loud fog horn? A beginner saxophonist.
Why were the Twin Towers mad? Because they ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.
What time is it when your kids stay home from school? S'no time!
An Irishman walks into a pub.
It's embarrassing when there is no toilet paper and you need to go and get one with your pants down. Luckily, the supermarket is just around the corner.
Who is Santa's favorite singer?
Elf-is Presley!
What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A bus full of children.
My pregnant wife said we were gonna name the kid Digiorno. She wouldn't tell me why until she got an abortion and told me, "It's not delivery, it's Digiorno."
What can you do for a magic house?
Make it fly!
What is the difference between a human and a magic car 🚗?
A magic car can fly, and a house 🏡 cannot fly.
What's big, round, and can't move?
A vegetable!
If my cat was a cactus, doesn't that make him a catus?
What game is for kids? Uno.
What time is it when you get home, can you walk home and walk?
I love autumn!
What makes it cold in a room? Air conditioning.
I've just started a new business making people breathe in large amounts of helium. They all speak very highly of it.