Worst Jokes Ever

What's the difference between a man's wife and his dog?

Lock them both in the trunk for three hours and see which is happy to see you when you open it.

It's ice to see you.

Nnnbgfdddddrr.

Wanna hear a funny joke? Well, that was why you were here... Here's the joke: Your life :)

Where did Sally go during the attack?

Everywhere.

What did the Los Angeles Police do when George Floyd said that he could not breathe? They gave George Floyd two squirts of Zicam cold remedy inside his nose.

You dropped your toilet paper, right? You want to pick it up, but you can't because you have poop in your butt and it scwoshd! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

What kind of tree fits into your hand? A palm tree.

Hi, how are you? Busy doing right? I just texted. Me and my dad were going out and walk home and walk walk home from school and walk home from home and walk home and walk walk home, and I will get back with him tomorrow morning.

What’s the difference between an epileptic corn shucker and a prostitute with diarrhea?

The epileptic corn shucker “shucks between fits”...

A guy goes to Starbucks and asks, "Hey, if I can make you laugh, I don’t have to pay." The girl in the window says, "Okay." The guy says, "A little boy named Timmy lost his arms." The girl says, "Oh no!" The guy says, "And his dad left him when he was 4." The girl says, "Uhh yeah." The guy says, "Okay, I guess I’ll be paying then." The girl asks, "Okay, and what name will that be under?" The guy says, "Timmy, I’m Timmy."

What do you call a toothless bear?

A gummy bear.

Fart <3

Why don't gay Greek men have anal sex with each other in Greece?

Because anal sex between gay men is against the law in Greece.

EMMETT BROWN IS FAT.

What does an astronaut call his ex from space?

SpaceX.

Stephen Hawking did not die; he deleted himself.

Me: tries to scan self at Walmart. I can't scan myself, wanna know why?

Alfred: Why?

Me: because I'm worthless... =)

What’s the difference between being a genius and being an idiot?

Being a genius has its limits.

What is the fastest cake in the world?

Scone.