Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Why did the students eat their homework?

Because the teacher said it would be a piece of cake! 🎂😂

What is the difference between a human and a tree? A human can walk and you can drive.

What is the difference between a human and a tree and yyyyy night I can drive yyy earth 🌏?

A girl and boy are in bed after sex. The boy goes, “I can’t believe they got together after all that shit.” The girl says, “Who?” The boy goes, “My ass cheeks.”

So, a man was on a ledge ready to kill himself because he got laid off at work and his girlfriend cheated on him. He was about to jump until he saw from a mountainside a little guy with no arms dancing around. So he thought, "Maybe my life ain't so bad." So he went to the mountainside. "Thank you," he said, "I was gonna jump off a bridge and kill myself until I saw you dancing, even though you have no arms. Dancing?" the armless man said bitterly, "My asshole itches and I can't scratch it."

  • 5

    • Why doesn't George Washington carry his ID?

    Because he knows he can always ask for a quarter.

    Kid: Licks money.

    Mom: Hey, don’t lick the money. It is dirty.

    Kid: Is that why they call people filthy rich?

    Why did God invent yeast infections? So women would know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt too.

  • 3

    • Once I went to a museum and overheard someone speaking to an employee for information.

    "These are lying clocks, they tell how many lies a person tells."

    "Oh, cool."

    "This is Mother Teresa’s clock; the clock hasn’t moved because she never lied."

    "Makes sense."

    "This is Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands only moved twice, indicating he only lied twice."

    "Where’s Trump’s clock?"

    "Oh, we’re using it as a ceiling fan."

    And then I burst out laughing 'cause it’s so true.