Worst Jokes Ever
When I was in 4th grade, we wrote letters to kids in the hospital. I wrote: "It is a bumpy road but soon it will be a straight path." Not many people know I was talking about their heart monitor.
Getting hurt is a bone-breaking experience. It's such a spine-tingling event!
(l=====8
What do you get when someone named Victoria falls? A Victoria Falls!
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because North Korea's long-range missiles can't reach that far.
What did they call Susan B. Anthony when she was sleeping on the job?
Snoozin' B. Anthony!
Why are orphans not allowed in stores?
Because else they would actually feel at home.
Q. What do you give a sick lemon?
A. Lemon-aid.
Would you like a piece of Africa?
Would you like to know why? Because it's a dessert/desert.
Did you hear of my new job as a can crusher? It's soda pressing.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?
Because he didn't have the guts to do it.
When her head game is so strong, she sucks the chromosome right out of you.
My doctor told me it was perfectly normal to become aroused or even ejaculate during a prostate exam.
That being said I wish he hadn't!
I tried to find my watch I lost last week, but I didn't have the time.
Doctor: I'm sorry, but you still have 10 seconds left.
Man: What?! What about my family?! My son is still missing! I can't just leave like that!
Doctor: Don't worry sir, I told your family.
Man: That's... great... if they found my son, tell them that I love him more than anything and I couldn't keep that promise.
The doctor watches the man closing his eyes while tears fell down from his eyes.
Doctor: I will... dad...
Tq for reading my crappy joke.
I have OCD and ADD, so everything has to be perfect... but not for very long.
A guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He slams a shot of tequila, goes over to the window, and jumps out.
The guy sitting next to him can’t believe what he just saw. He’s more surprised when, 10 minutes later, the same guy walks back into the bar and sits down next to him.
The astonished onlooker asks, “How did you do that? I just saw you jump out the window, and we’re hundreds of feet above the ground!”
The jumper responds by slurring, “Well, I don’t get it either. I slam a shot of tequila, and when I jump out the window, the tequila makes me slow down right before I hit the ground. Watch.” He takes a shot, goes to the window, and jumps out.
The other guy runs to the window and watches as the guy falls to just above the sidewalk, slows down, and lands softly on his feet. A few minutes later, the jumper walks back into the bar.
The other guy has to try it, too, so he orders a shot of tequila. He slams it and jumps out the window. As he reaches the bottom, he doesn’t slow down at all. SPLAT!
The first guy orders another shot of tequila. The bartender shakes his head. “You’re really an a**hole when you’re drunk, Superman.” I know.
Jeffy: I need a new butt. My old one has a crack in it.
The winds of Uranus go on and off, so you could say the wind is broken.
Hi Mom, how are you doing?