Worst Jokes Ever
Why did Steven Hawking go to hell?
Because there is a stairway to heaven.
🧀: C’mon tomato!
🍅: I’m trying to ketchup.
🧀: You’re a mile away.
🍅: I am a tomato! It’s not that easy for me to ketchup.
Michael Vick is coming to town, hide your dogs!
A man was at the temperature -273.15°C. He was OK.
Primary School Maths Teacher: Maths has no Limits!
High School Maths Teacher: There's this thing called Limits.
Q. What did one Iron atom say to the other Iron atom?
A. "We're in the Matrix."
What do you describe Titanic as?
... Broken...
I'm in school right now, but I'm on an airplane.
Roses are red, my blood is too. I see a lot when I lost you.
A farmer has 3 fat ugly cows. One is named Xia. The next is named Chiang. What's the third?
Yu.
My friend said, "Dude, if you don't put your desk in line with the column, you're gay." So he did it, and I said, "Well, I guess now he's straight." ;D
If you boil your funny bone, it becomes a laughing stock.
What does the bee say to the fly?
"Buzz off!"
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels.
I saw a sign the other day that said "Maximum penalty for smoking is £1,000."
But that's not right. Surely the maximum penalty for smoking is Death.
What do you call an orphan fish?
Self-ish.
Q: What did the deaf, dumb, and blind kid get for Christmas?
A: Leukemia.
Do you know what my favorite time of day is?
6:30, hands down.
What did the traffic light 🚦 say to the car 🚗? Don’t look, I’m about to change!
One day, Billy cow wandered off to the railroad tracks where his mother always told him not to go. His mother asked him where he had gone when he got home. He replied that he was just going for a graze. His neighbor later told his mother he had saw him at the railroad tracks. What would you call Billy cow now?
Ground Beef.