Worst Jokes Ever
They say that "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach," but I find it a lot easier to go through the ribcage.
Dario is gay.
Yo mama so fat even God could not lift her spirits.
Why did the orange start blushing?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
This city slicker broke down on a country road. He looked around, and in the distance, he spotted a farm house. When he finally got there, he asked the farmer if he had a phone he could use because his had no reception.
The farmer told him he could use it if he married his daughter. The guy said he really didn’t wanna get married, and the farmer said, "If you marry my daughter, I’ll give you half my farm..." The guy said, "Lemme see her..." The farmer hollered, “Hey you, get over here...” and she said, “Duh, ok.” The ol' boy looked at her and said, "Nooo thank you."
The father said, “I’ll give you all my farm and my bank account if you’ll marry my daughter....” The ol' boy thought for a minute and said, “Well I guess I can put a sack over her head.” So they married and the farmer kept his word and gave him everything.
One day the guy was up fixin' the roof and hollered, “Hey you, get me some nails...” His wife said, “Duh, nails, nails?” He said, “Yes, nails,” and showed her one. She said, “Oh, duh, nails, nails.” He said, “Yes, nails.” So she got him some. He was hammering away when he hit his thumb, and he yells, “Oh F*** it!” and she turned and hollered, “Duh, a sack, a sack, duh, a sack!”
(Only Ninjago fans understand XD)
If you look outside and it's really windy, it's really cloudy, and the sky looks greenish... you better run, 'cause it has to be Morro!
Suzy: How did Jonah fit in the whale?
Teacher: Whales are very big but have small mouths, so Jonah did not actually fit in the whale.
Suzy: Well, the Bible says he did.
Teacher: He did not.
Suzy: When I get to heaven I will ask him how he fit in.
Teacher: How do you know he went to heaven? Maybe he went to hell.
Suzy: Then you can ask him.
Confucius says, "Man who walks through airport door sideways with erection, is going to Bangkok."
Sam Ryan, more like Sam Reddit!
What do you call a magic car that I can do to help me out for you and I will be doing a great day?
Nobody:
Titanic: sYnCccCc
Iceberg: yAaaYeEee
People: yAaanOooO
Ocean: fUuudD
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They can never find home.
What’s the hardest part to eat on a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
What's red, six inches long, and made my girlfriend cry when I fed it to her?
Her miscarriage.
Today I asked my sis to take out the trash, and I shoved her outside!
Why did the carrots laugh?
They saw Mrs. Green Pea over the fence.
"I will Always Love You!"
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they have no home.
Why can't an orphan have sex?
Because they can't call them "daddy."
Do you like Wendy’s?
Yeah, Wendy’s nuts finna go in your mouth!