Worst Jokes Ever
Friend: I'm gonna go ask out my crush.
Me: *fake sneezes* Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit.
10 Fun Facts.
1. You can't wash your eyes with soap. 2. You can't count your hair. 3. You can't breathe through your nose with your tongue out. 4. You just tried number 3. 5. When you did number 3, you realized it's possible, only you look like a dog. 6. You're smiling right now because you were fooled. 7. You skipped number 5. 8. You just checked to see if there is a number 5. 9. Share this with your friends to have some fun too :-)
What does my head and hell have in common?
They both have demons in them.
Oh my god, she hit me with a bat,
'Cause she was transgender.
Why couldn't the astronaut put the helmet on his head?
Because he didn't have enough space.
Why did the police go to a baseball game?
Because a player stole the base.
Why was 10 scared of 9?
Because 9 8 7.
Why did the frog cross the road?
To show his gang that he had guts.
What's white, black, and red all over?
A zebra who walked into a hunting reserve.
Where were the first French Fries 🍟 made?
In Greece.
What can fly?
Bird.
What’s the difference between a hoe and a rooster?
A rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo," and a hoe says, "Any cock will do."
I don’t trust stairs because they’re always up to something.
Why did the skunk 🦨 sleep 💤 under a car?
Because he wanted to wake up oily.
What is the world's greatest invention? The ball gag, do you know why? Honestly, officer, I never heard her say no.
"When Republicans do politics, it's a crime. But when Democrats commit crimes, it's politics." ---Tyler Nixon
Nobody:
The Vietcong when America lands on their beaches:
tReE pOwErS aCtIvAtE!
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with 2 legs? Your mom.
There's a girl I like in my school, but she's always on her phone. It seems that I can't get a SIGNAL from her.
Iran? More like tin can, cause we’re going to kick their teeth in, am I right?