Worst Jokes Ever
Why is Santa always so happy? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
Like this if you are in foster care.
So I was digging in the garden and I found some treasure. I was gonna tell my wife when I remembered why I was digging in the garden.
Rape jokes like cancer jokes or AIDS jokes are just humorous wordplay. If you don't agree, send me your details, and we'll see if you prefer actual rape to a harmless rape joke... YOU SAD SACKS OF HUMORLESS SHIT MUNCHERS!
Like this if you have ever had a family member die.
Therapist: So what brought you here today?
Wife: He's too literal.
Therapist: And you, sir?
Husband: My truck.
Why are pedophiles good at playing guitar?
Because they are good at fingering A minor.
What did the Chinese couple name their retarded baby?
Sum Ting Wong.
One day Timmy walks in on his mum in the bath. Then he asks, “What’s that dark fuzzy thing, mummy?” and mum said, “It’s a bush, every girl has one!” Then the next day he walks in on his dad in the shower. So he asks, “Daddy, what’s that long thing?” The dad then says, “It’s a sexy boy” accidentally. Timmy asks his dad, “What does sexy mean?” And the dad says, “Your mother, of course,” making it seem like a child-friendly compliment. Then the next day at school Timmy wanted to compliment his teacher. He walks up to her and says, “You’re so so sexy!”
The Nazis.
Jamal had 75 candy bars. He ate 65. What does he have now?
Diabetes.
How do you avoid getting raped? Just don't say no!
I can't imagine him moaning with the kids, "Hi, uh, ya daddy, uh HEE!"
What do you call a downy who can't get a girlfriend?
Down bad.
In my mother's generation, they grew up with Wonder Woman. In ours, we have to wonder if she's a woman.
The only thing brighter than my future is the fire on the World Trade Center.
What do you call an engineer that bakes? A BAKENEER!
I'm gonna jump to my death.
Don't worry. I won't jump far.
Just off this chair here...
Did you hear of the guy who was sad about being in a wheelchair? He had that crippling depression.
Can you imagine the last thing that went through the minds of 911 victims?
Well, probably their kneecaps.