Worst Jokes Ever

What's the difference between a black & a white fairy tale? White begins, "Once upon a time..." Black begins, "Y'all mutherfuckers ain't gonna believe this shit."

Little Johnny is walking around and peeks in his parents' room, catching them having sex. So he asks, "What are you guys doing?" and they reply, "Nothing, nothing! We're just, uh, making cake," and they send him away.

So he continues walking around, and he hears some strange noises coming from his brother's room. He walks in and catches his brother and his brother's girlfriend having sex and then asks him, "What are you guys doing?" and his brother yells, "Get out! We're making cake!"

So Johnny leaves and goes to his room. The next day the whole family is at the dinner table and Little Johnny turns to his sister and says, "So, you and your boyfriend were making cake last night, huh?" and she replies, "OMG! How'd you know!?" and Johnny replies, "Because I licked the icing off the couch."

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his dick.

The bartender asks him why.

And the pirate says:

"Argh, It's driving me nuts."

The secret to dark humor is the delivery... oh wait, the baby was stillborn.

What had more brains than Hitler? The wall behind him.

What's a perfect example of poor management? A prostitute getting pregnant.

What do you get when you have an annoying kid, a homicidal kid, and a suicidal kid in the same room? A happy ending.

At school, Little Johnny’s classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it’s very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth.” Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out.

Johnny’s mother greets him at home, and he tells her, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don’t tell your father.” Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, “I know the whole truth.” The father promptly hands him $40 and says, “Please don’t say a word to your mother.”

Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, “I know the whole truth.” The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, “Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!”

They laughed at my crayon drawing.

I laughed at their chalk outline.

Where did Suzy go after getting lost on a minefield?

"Everywhere."

I wasn't planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.

The other day at school we had to write down our hero and what we would do if they walked into our house. I got off easy because my hero is Stephen Hawking.

Who would win?

The laws of the Catholic Church which have been effective for over 900 years,

Or one horny Henry?

Have you walked into Stephen Hawking's house?

Oh, neither did he.

Did you hear about the two-car pile-up in Mexico? Yeah like 200 Mexicans died.

A 14 year old girl was walking back home late at night, then a man was following her. An hour later, she got back home not only had she lost the stranger, but also her virginity.

Lost my virginity to a down syndrome the other day... only cause I wanted my first time to be special.

A child was walking through the forest when a wolf jumped in front of him. The child saw that the wolf had no leg. He then became a terrorist and caused 9/11.