Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Your mom is so fat that she mains Heavy from the game Team Fortress 2!

I asked my friend, "Hey, did you get a haircut?" and she said, "No." Then I'm like, "Really? Then why are you bald today?"

There was a car accident, and the cops pull up to the crime scene to start asking people questions. The police started talking to a blonde lady and said, "What happened here?" She responded by saying, "A car crash." They then asked, "But how did it happen?" She responded, "The cars crashed into each other." They finally said, "But why did it happen?" The lady said, "Oh, I know where you're going with this. It happened because when cars push on the gas pedal, the car goes forward, and they both pushed it, so they both went forward and hit each other." One cop said, "Never mind, ma'am," and they started walking away.

The blonde lady then said, "Oh, and officers, my computer froze. Do you think I should put it in the microwave or in the oven?"

I really want to beat the living daylights out of you, but it's not worth getting the wooden spoon for garbage.

A man was taking a child into a dark forest.

The child said, "I'm scared!"

The man replied, "Well I have to walk home alone."

I’m old enough to remember innocent times when the worst headline was plane hijackers flying into buildings.

Daughter: Dad, what's your opinion on abortions?

Dad: Ask your sister.

Daughter: But I don't have a sister.

Dad: Exactly.