Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Adopted kid:

Hey, Alex, what are you doing?

Alex:

Nothing, just playing my game. Anyways, you know you can call me "dad."

Adopted kid:

OK, dad Alex.

Alex:

Oh, come on! My game! I’m winning. Let’s go!

Adopted kid:

I’m so glad I have a mom.

My parents came back from their vacation in Florida, and all I got is this lousy nursemaid from Miami named mammie.

I went up to a kid and asked, "Are you an orphan?" They said, "Yes, what gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."

Why don't gay men perform anilingus on each other in Greece?

Because anilingus is against the law in Greece.

This kid was going to sleep and he said, "Night, Mum. Night, Dad. And night, Grandma, and bye, Grandpa." The next morning, Grandpa died, and the next night he said, "Night, Dad. Night, Mum. Night, Grandma." Grandma died the next morning. The next night he said, "Night, Mum, bye, Dad," and they heard the postman died because he was the dad, lol.

"Tibia" honestly, I think the reason I’m "bonely" is because you guys don’t find my jokes "humerus."

Maybe if I played the trombone it would get people’s attention, but "tibia" honest I can’t be bothered, so just look at my "BONE-zai" tree, although my brother doesn’t really like that one, so how about a "S-pine" tree?

Why did Hitler lose the war?

Because Göring ate every last airplane, tank, artillery, ship, and ammunition!

I always sucked at mazes. I found myself lost over and over again, but if life is a labyrinth, I'd always find the escape. The final dead end, my personal favorite...

What's the difference between a man's wife and his dog?

Lock them both in the trunk for three hours and see which is happy to see you when you open it.